cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/38975713
Okay, at work I was surrounded by tons of people who were bigots. They would randomly say how they didn’t want free college because then who would serve at restaurants, while they would say that they care about the environment. They would casually say that the confederate flag was not a big deal. They would casually comment on how they didn’t have any black people in their schools when I sat down at the table. Whenever I sat down they would complain on how men salaries are higher than women, which I would have agreed on if it was not for the fact that the only people always discussing this was middle class white people, who only said this when I black man sat down, and statistically black people make the lowest salaries, so to me it felt like if someone from a buffet came to only complain to starving people that the next person at the buffet got more food than they did.
They made fun of my Mexican coworker who once got mistaken by the guy who was painting the stairs because he was Mexican. And many other microaggressions that are too numerous to tell.
But going to the point of my question: These people were pure asses, but they were brilliant at programming. They did so much better than me, and I was trying my best. It bothered me so much not just because their performance was better, but that they were bigots and their performance was better. It just felt like universal injustice. Made me wonder what was the point of trying if all your effort can just be surpassed by bigots.
I have to admit that I was pretty ignorant of corporate American culture, and had no idea what area I wanted to concentrate on. But somehow these people just knew all that shit. Like, I have no clue how they knew so much.
Which makes me wonder how do you deal with this feeling, and what gives you the motivation to keep trying, when even your best effort can be surpassed by people with terrible attitudes that you hate. Like, I know that I will never surpass people like that, and I don’t think the point of life is being in an endless scoreboard, but it literally just feels like pure ass, and I want to hear others experiences. I also hate feeling behind all the time.
There are things in life that I consider “truths”. Things that you may not necessarily like but have no control over. One of them is, there will always be shitty people out there, ones who will not and can not change for the better. Another one is, there will 99.999999% of the time be someone better than you at something, and a lot of times, many things.
The first truth that I accepted was as kid, seeing people with more than me and given opportunities to develop that I didn’t have the luxury of. You have to decide at some point if it’s worth the mental anguish to get worked up about things you can’t change or change the way you think. If you want to get better at something, you practice, you seek advice, and you find satisfaction in progression. Don’t compare yourself to others, we are all different people on different paths, do what you can to be better than you were last week.
As far as the shitty people go, I try to distance myself from them even though they seem to be everywhere. You learn to give non-answers, be stoic around them, understand that those people thrive off watching other people suffer. You spend a lot of time at work, my best advice if you can’t avoid them at work, is to look for a less toxic environment. No salary is worth destroying your mental health.
This is all much easier said than done and it’s only my opinion, but perhaps it’s something you can branch off of.