I allow them to feel fat while still demanding they provide evidence if they actually insist they are overweight.

I feel fat even when I’m in a healthy weight range; I think that is patriarchal social programming. I don’t think you can control how someone else feels. But when they start really getting down on themselves, I encourage them to either find evidence that they are overweight and then set goals to deal with it. Or, they can’t actually prove it (ie. They are healthy weight/waist) and then we deal with overcoming the social programming.

Not perfect, but it works for me and my partner. Mostly deals with accepting how we feel and making a plan about it.