I went insane already in the early 2000s, when I realised nobody gave a shit about climate change and ecological destruction and nothing I could say or do made people understand or care. I had a good chuckle when the whole Greta-thing happened and suddenly more people cared, even though we’ve known this is happening for decades now. Too little, too late. There’s always war and genocide going, now we just know it’s happening in real time. Knowing changes nothing, we don’t learn from history, too few care and those who do get in power too rarely for any lasting change to happen.
I was about to kill myself for the first time in 2013 and honestly I should just have done it, it’s the decision I now regret the most in my life. I already died that day anyway, I have just been sort of lingering remnant after that, barely a person anymore. At least my parents could have had a decade to grieve me, now I’ve just dragged more people to care about me and will hurt them as well with my death. My suffering has just gotten worse and worse together with my physical and mental health; sometimes thing not only don’t get better, but just get worse. I don’t even know how I’m still here, probably just out of spite and lack of access to handguns. Eventually I’ll get to see what will manage to end me first, my body or my mind, I don’t even know which one is leading the race.
To conclude my insane and personal rant: not everyone can get a happy ending. Enjoy and do good if you still can
I went insane already in the early 2000s, when I realised nobody gave a shit about climate change and ecological destruction and nothing I could say or do made people understand or care. I had a good chuckle when the whole Greta-thing happened and suddenly more people cared, even though we’ve known this is happening for decades now. Too little, too late. There’s always war and genocide going, now we just know it’s happening in real time. Knowing changes nothing, we don’t learn from history, too few care and those who do get in power too rarely for any lasting change to happen.
I was about to kill myself for the first time in 2013 and honestly I should just have done it, it’s the decision I now regret the most in my life. I already died that day anyway, I have just been sort of lingering remnant after that, barely a person anymore. At least my parents could have had a decade to grieve me, now I’ve just dragged more people to care about me and will hurt them as well with my death. My suffering has just gotten worse and worse together with my physical and mental health; sometimes thing not only don’t get better, but just get worse. I don’t even know how I’m still here, probably just out of spite and lack of access to handguns. Eventually I’ll get to see what will manage to end me first, my body or my mind, I don’t even know which one is leading the race.
To conclude my insane and personal rant: not everyone can get a happy ending. Enjoy and do good if you still can