• leftzero@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    6 days ago

    Am retired pirate with big booty, have bright idea to open currency exchange in Mos Eisley.
    Find discreet junk shop, shoot owner dead, set up shop.
    Opening day: nothing.
    Days 2 to 5: nothing.
    Day 6: sick looking alien stumbles into shop, vomits everywhere, dies.
    Days 7 to 12: nothing.
    Day 13: dude looking like a poorly disguised Republic citizen walks in the door (finally, a client!), gets shot in the back, dies. I pilfer his belongings, finally some profit.
    Days 14 to 27: nothing.
    Day 28: shady looking droid walks in, asks for all my money; I ask for the equivalent amount of Republic credits in exchange; it produces a gun and shoots me in the tentacle, and asks again for all my money. I give it the money.
    Am broke, and bleeding.
    Day 29: tentacle falls off.
    Day 30: bunch of official looking Gamorreans show up demanding tax, tribute, bribe, and gratuity. Have nothing to give them. They grab me and throw me into a sarlacc, where I’ll be digested for a thousand years.
    Maybe it wasn’t such a bright idea.