besides all that, she has an odd sense of humor but is really nice. not only this, but has been my friend since middle school, and i dated her in sixth grade. she has always been christian, but she’s practicing it more and feels like she has to “repent for her sins” and whatever.
she used to be a lesbian and then genderfluid but now she’s cishet and idk if she’ll understand what i’m going through, i also hope she didn’t decide this due to christianity.
and the gender identity and pronouns jokes feel weird to me as an enby and a lesbian 😓
will this end up actually bad for me like those superevangelicals?
If she used to be gay and is now straight, wouldn’t she just be bisexual? Or am i misunderstanding?
Edit: I’m not well versed in this space and meant no disrespect by the question. I’m genuinely curious.
If you used to be straight and are now gay, would that make you bi?
I’m not smart enough to answer this question, but that would be where I’d start.
There are a few possibilities that I see
OP’s ex is gay. She found Christianity and is now lying to herself that she’s straight.
For whatever reason OP’s ex thought she was gay but then realized she wasn’t.
OP’s ex is bisexual
I don’t really see how you can truly be gay and then decide to be truly straight, or vice versa. As far as I understand it doesn’t work like that? You’re born the way you are. It’s not a choice, it’s who you are. I think that’s the entire counter-argument against gay conversion therapy and other bullshit. You can’t change who someone is. It’s programmed at birth.
I agree with you when you say “it’s who you are”.
Do you not see a situation where someone is born and believes themselves gay (the reasons why they would think this are numerous, almost as numerous as the countless reasons people think they are straight growing up) and then after living as a gay person they come to understand themselves better and recognise that they are actually fairly straight?
I’m not saying that’s what’s going on here, it sounds very sad and basically someone just heading back to the closet to avoid shitty people and shitty society. But questioning someone who says they are straight, or gay or bi or enby or ace or whatever, is flawed. They may be lieing, they may be confused, hiding, virtue signalling. But you don’t get to call them bi just because they said and behaved as if they were gay and now say and behaving as if they are not. Someone who used to have sex and now says they are ace isn’t lying, or wrong or akchewally…
I don’t want this to come off as hostile, I get why you are asking. It’s a complex topic and I might be wrong.
I think I’m explaining myself alright, but I’m open to discussion
I don’t think you’re coming off hostile at all! This isn’t my domain so I could be totally wrong. I’m open to feedback. Below is my thinking:
I feel like normally it’s the other way around though. People think they’re straight or convince themselves that they are straight because that’s the “norm” that society pushes on us.
Now has there ever been a case where it was reversed like in your example? Yea, probably. But I feel like it’s rare. I mean maybe someone grew up with gay friends and they try to convince themselves they’re gay because that’s what their friends are? Then they realize they’re straight? It’s possible. Just feels unlikely lol
Basically it just seemed odd that OP was like “my girlfriend used to be a lesbian and now she’s straight.” That just sounded sus to me. But of course we have like zero context here so who the fuck knows what really occurred.
Yeah, I think the biggest hangup for us is that, given the context, this person isn’t someone who was gay and is now straight, it’s someone who was exploring their sexuality and then decided to nope out, regardless of their actual orientation.