my friend, since she found out I’m neurodivergent and hyperfixate, went from really liking me to pretending to like me.
she used to really value me, but now she doesn’t because i have autism and she doesn’t. idk how to feel, she rolls her eyes at me, gives me weird looks, and will just stare at me at times when i say something like “how was your day?” w/o responding.
i understand that she’s a sophomore who’s friends with my friend’s younger sibling, but it still sucks at any age.
You could be projecting some. Hard to say. You seem to be making some very strong conclusions which is hard to know if they are correct. Explicit communication is best. But try to start from a more neutral position and don’t assume your feelings/perceptions are accurate to how she feels.
Cant say what already has been said. Talk with your friend
I dunno, I’m hearing way too many feelings, not enough facts, and zero communication.
Going to go with my usual advice. Nobody is psychic. Have a conversation. Discuss your feelings and be specific about WHY you feel what you feel, and what specific examples you will cite in terms of actions or behaviors.
Then you can act accordingly. You’ll either discover some kinda misunderstanding, or clear up some misconception, or perhaps just confirm that you are incompatible as friends for some reason or other.
How sure are you that she went from valuing you to not valuing you anymore?
I ask because I have autistic friends that struggle in social settings. They tend to over-examine and overthink minute details in social interactions and frequently come away feeling hated or disrespected when that’s not the case
Might also have gone from “not noticing that she doesn’t value you” to “noticing that she doesn’t value you”.
Like other comments said, speak with her.
Question for you though, have you started comparing a lot of things to being neuro? I have friends that did this when they found out. It’s great that you’ve found out something, but for them that doesn’t change a thing. For them you as a person are still the exact same (except if you’re heavily sedated , that might influence behaviour a lot). Question is, do you want them to understand you or the concept.
But again, go talk with her. If something is wrong in a relationship, there are always two at fault. Fault is going quite far, but often it’s not understanding or wanting to understand each other, misreading signals and who knows what.
Talk to her about it. Ask her why she is doing that and tell her how it makes you feel. Do you best to not get angry during that convo.
No, this is ableist. Disliking and disrespecting another person and treating them like they’re less than human when you wouldn’t if they weren’t autistic/you didn’t know they were is very discriminatory.
What if it were another group? If they treated you this way because they were straight and you weren’t, or if you met them online and they found out you were black? That would be homophobia/racism, so this would be ableism.
I’m sorry this happened 💕 💝
this sucks, I’m sorry you’re going through it. i tend to tell people I’m autistic if i feel like i might be misunderstood, hoping that it’ll give them more understanding of me. but I’m learning that some people just don’t know how to handle that information respectfully.
She sounds kind of autistic to me, struggling to process social cues and the like.
