Growing up, I was always told that boys could come over if I leave the bedroom door open, and I see a lot with my friends that the girls would not be allowed to have boys over/in the bedroom/have the bedroom door closed or viceversa (boys with girls).
When I realized I may be gay and trans (masc), my parents were accepting and allowed me to have the door closed with girls because I was gay and still not with boys.
Then, I had a boyfriend and they said I could keep the door closed with anyone except my boyfriend.
Now, I’m nonbinary and bisexual. Would you allow your kids to close the door?
No, I would simply give them a box of condoms or whatever.
If they’re gonna do it, they’re gonna do it, and as a parent, you’re way better off with your kids comfortable not hiding it because if there’s complications you can intervene quickly. If the condom broke, you want the kid to come to you so you can get plan B and not have to deal with an abortion a couple weeks or even months later. It’s also way better they get caught doing it at home vs in a car and now be on the sex offender registry.
What you’re describing is abstinance and is common in religious families, and well know for being ineffective. Plus as you’ve described, it completely falls apart when bisexuality is involved, and it makes even less sense if it’s physically impossible to even get pregnant.
The same extends to alcohol, drugs, porn, whatever evil vice people are worried. If your kid’s gonna do drugs, you want them to feel comfortable calling you if they have a bad trip, and also feel comfortable giving you the drugs so you can get them to the hospital and they can quickly identify what you’re on and give the necessary medications.
They’re gonna learn about all that eventually, better they learn it from you. Punishment and “you’ll understand when you’re grown up” doesn’t work. If they’re old enough to ask, they’re old enough for the answers too.
It’s not exactly relevant to the original question, but is to your response … My mom always told me “don’t do drugs, but if you do, do them with me so I can make sure you’re doing them right.”
Was that her policy on sex too?
Edit: a lot of people without a sense of humor in this thread.
It depends if she hot or not…
No, but she did once tell me about a woman’s perspective on losing virginity, then laugh and say “now the first time you have sex you’ll think about what I said!”
I didn’t, though.
Needed that “/s” perhaps 👀