For me, the only thing that works is spending time with my partner or friends and taking the edge off with cannabis. During the work day, I have felt a lot of despair for a long time. Trump fans and the public’s reaction to vaccines and COVID in general lead me to believe that there’s just no such thing as peace on a societal level. I’m not sure that ever existed in any way, but I think it used to be incredibly easier to delude yourself into thinking the state of humanity is much better than it is, or at least much better than this.
And I don’t think deluding ourselves is even slightly a solution. In fact I think that’s a major source of why society is so fucked today. People tuning out and letting shit get worse. Capitalism running wild while most people just shrug their shoulders if forced to address it, but typically never even thinking about it or how things could be better.
We aren’t cut out for this shit. The effects of bad news streamed 24/7 like an IV drip has got to be worse for our health than smoking. I suspect I will die 15 years prematurely due to stroke or some other blood pressure related failure.
Another exacerbating factor is vocally negative people. No matter what happens, even if something good happens, there’s always someone lurking in comment sections telling everyone how stupid they are if they see anything positive about that news. Some days I really think I need to be a hermit in the woods with no Internet. Because the load of the modern world is just too much to bear.
I’ve tried therapy and various drugs. Nothing’s helped much or for very long. I think about changing careers but that has a lot of risks I’m unsure are worth it. In fact I’m not even sure it would help. Has anyone successfully changed careers and gone from feeling how I describe here to a much healthier state of being? Or have you found anything else that helps? I know hobbies can help, but I’m at the point today where I just have no motivation to get back to mine.
Transitioning helped a lot, I do still feel depressed occasionally, but it’s more passing and related to hormones.
Switching from a career where I was on call nearly all the time for immediate issues for one where I have more flexibility and don’t have to drive as much was a big help.
I still mask and feel really alienated being around people who don’t, but that sentiment was not new to me being vegan and trans and an anarchist. Those orientations don’t always lend themselves to being understood by others who aren’t.
I don’t spend much time online. Organizing with like-minded individuals in real life is way better for my mental health.
I do smoke a lot of weed, but it’s because I enjoy it rather than because I feel bad or am trying to self-medicate.