I’m not sure if this is the right place but me and my friend group have lately become privacy conscious and wanted to stop using discord and other types of social media, and only log onto self hosted options that only we can access.

we’ve eliminated something like Revolt (now named Stoat due to it missing ideal features and the developers being anti-decentralized (as well as being extremely hostile to the userbase noticably…)

Does anyone have any idea what would be an ideal service to use?

    • wagesj45@fedia.io
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      1 hour ago

      I have run it for years, and I wish they weren’t so limiting and heavy-handed in trying to force people into a paid subscription.

  • SidewaysHighways@lemmy.world
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    5 hours ago

    I’ve had a little snikket (prosody docker, xmpp) sever running for a year. monacles or cheogram are just fine, playing games with the fam in the chats is really cool.

    dino or gajim on desktop.

    calls work well, but android doesn’t treat it as an actual phone call (home assistant automations based on phone state won’t work)

    and I’ve just now gotten direct messaging tied into home assistant, so i can use it for general notifications. it’d be awesome to get encryption though.

    omemo is a bit of a pain, but they’ve all caught on.

    but yeah i mean, very little hassle

  • artyom@piefed.social
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    6 hours ago

    You could use Matrix but it is very finicky and complicated.

    You could use XMPP but they don’t have any nice clients.

    You could use Zulip but it’s confusing as fuck to navigate.

    You could use Mattermost but it’s tied to a corporation that seems intent on removing features from the open source version to convince you to buy a license.

    You could use Quiet (not self-hosted but p2p) but it’s very new and very Alpha.

    You can use NextCloud Talk but that’s probably more than you need, and it seems to be very difficult to maintain for many.

    I won’t engage in any arguments, these are just my opinions, and options for OP.

    • lambalicious@lemmy.sdf.org
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      4 hours ago

      You could use XMPP but they don’t have any nice clients

      [citation needed]

      There’s at least three good clients for Desktop (multiplatform) and two for Android.

      Plus, XMPP is the best thing to run service-wise. Relatively cheap, runs on a potato, not a nu-protocol that requires a server cluster and friggin’ npm.

    • Lyra_Lycan@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      6 hours ago

      XMPP for my attempt just worked, voice and video calling too. The Android clients Monocles, Cheogram and Conversations are great, as for desktop they all look like 90’s messaging clients haha

      I ultimately switched to Matrix because the encryption key sharing is much more friendly, at least for helping non-enthusiasts use it, and I didn’t realise I could decrypt old XMPP messages for new clients by transferring them manually, but at least Element Web is nice. It has flaws, definitely - on Android I find myself using Element Classic for creating unencrypted rooms and voice/video calling using my TURN server, and Element X for general messaging, caption and Markdown support. That’s another thing - for me the Element clients are the closest to being usable, the few others are borked.

      In short XMPP is ugly but functional, and the client devs try their best, and Matrix is enticing but, as you said, finicky. Element is pretty but their new client that promises full e2ee for calling hasn’t reached a level I would consider out of Beta yet.

    • guynamedzero@piefed.zeromedia.vip
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      13 hours ago

      Seconding this! I have my own matrix server, it can be a bit of a pain to set up, but it works better than 99% of any other alternatives (trust me, I’ve tried almost every one of them)

      • Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de
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        11 hours ago

        I started trying to set it up last week, I can’t seem to figure out why authentik and it will not play. It either tries authentik and gets a 404 or ignores it and doesn’t find the user. (Nginx is also involved). It’s the least user friendly thing I’ve tried to self host so far

    • Howlinghowler110th@kbin.earthOP
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      13 hours ago

      we’ve thought about this but the documentation isn’t user friendly for self hosting. we’re generally worried about undesirable people finding it which would not be good.

      • Derin@lemmy.beru.co
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        7 hours ago

        There is no risk of others finding it if you don’t turn on federation. It becomes a fully private instance. Just set federation to false.

      • deadcade@lemmy.deadca.de
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        10 hours ago

        The documentation you were looking at might’ve been the Matrix specification.

        There is documentation on how to host a Matrix server, I’d honestly recommend using containers (maybe docker compose) for this one. It can definitely be confusing setting up a service like a Matrix homeserver for the first time.

        As for other people finding it, you can (and should) make your homeserver invite-only. It’s also possible to disable federation, which makes the server self-contained. It will not accept incoming connections from other servers, nor make outgoing connections to other servers.

        This does mean everyone you want to talk with has to be on your homeserver. There are probably better options available if you want to avoid Matrix’ federation issues, like Spacebar.

  • Eirikr70@jlai.lu
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    13 hours ago

    There are many solutions. I have chosen xmpp/ejabberd/conversations/monal.

    • ArchEngel@lemmy.ca
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      4 hours ago

      You know, I’m really curious about xmpp, kinda wanna check it out, but then every time I am reminded that it exists it comes with a new and different chain of dependencies? other apps? whatever the other things are anyways that people list with it. And then I don’t bother researching because suddenly it seems like the more complicated option. Not intending to insult, just lamenting.

  • stratself@lemdro.id
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    10 hours ago

    due to it missing ideal features

    what features do you want? kindly elaborate


    XMPP with Snikket could be an easy solution. If you don’t want to talk to the wider web make sure to disable federation.

    • Lyra_Lycan@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      6 hours ago

      Snikket is great. I liked my choice of Prosody with Monocles and Gajim for server, Android and Windows/Linux, respectively

  • tal@lemmy.today
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    9 hours ago

    IRC, though you’ll want to use it over TLS.

    XMPP, which someone else listed, is also good if you want a more instant-message-like interface.

  • dwt@feddit.org
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    13 hours ago

    Not quite sure what kind of privacy you need, but matrix is reasonably easy to self host, and allows you to federate if you want.

    Also has plenty of clients.

    If you want low tech, hosting IRC is easy too.

  • RheumatoidArthritis@mander.xyz
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    11 hours ago

    What is “ideal” for you? I use xmpp but some people want stickers and shit and use Matrix instead, it’s much more heavy weight but also has these extra features. There’s also rocket.chat that has all the extra stuff but is not built for federation.