I mean like: How long does it take before you brain goes: oh shit, I exist… I remember, I am a living thing, human, my name is [■■■ ■■■] and my current location is [■■■] and oh shit I’m late for [work/school/event] (or if its weekend, its like: oh… nothing’s happening, life is boring)
Like you know what I’m saying, like the Terminator HUD thing after it reboots and it takes a few seconds before it can identify a target and then recognize its mission… that type of thing.
Or do you wake up and within 1 nanosecond realize the state of your existence?
depends on the cause of the wakeup. alarm? 10 minutes.
kid or dog or cat vomiting? about 12 attoseconds.
yuuuuuup
if I choose to actually get up when I wake up naturally at the right point in the sleep cycle but it’s 17 minutes before I want to wake up, I’m sure awake in a second or two
if I choose to ignore that and go back to sleep for 23 minutes, then it takes a few minutes to fully wake up nowadays
if my dog is standing on my chest making a hoarking sound, I’m out of bed on my way out the bedroom door yelling at her to follow me before the other one even gets up
you clearly know my pain. then we get to play the game “no, just barf outside, it’s fine to barf out here, look, I can tell you’re gonna yark so just do it…” 40 minutes later as I’m trying to get the family out the door together, HURRK HURRRK HURRRRK HUUUUUURRRK
oh thankfully I don’t have to wait for it to happen later, it’s a struggle to make it outside — once they start, it’s happening. I’m just happy if they puke on the hardwood and not on a rug. been thinking about trying to teach them to puke in the shower
friggin’ bastards beg for dinner as early as possible but then puke in the morning if they haven’t eaten in the past 14 hours
Our pointer ate so much problematic shit as a puppy (mice, etc) that we inadvertently trained him to go to the shower when he started hoarking in the middle of the night several times a week.
Unfortunately as an adult dog he eats actual shit from the yard and needs to be directed outside/to the shower when he gets the windup going which is worse in several ways.
But definitely train to throw up in the tub/shower if you can, especially at night in a northern climate it is great not having to chase them out of your room, down the stairs, out into the yard as they’re doing their best dinosaur call
I’m ashamed to admit I’ve dragged a dog bodily across the room to get them to puke on the tile or wood flooring. but I’d do it again.
one of my hounds likes to make pukey noises, then go outside AND EAT GRASS THAT MAKES HER VOMIT LIKE CLOCKWORK.
0.o
bro you are your own self fulfilling vomit prophecy. just don’t eat the *@!)$%^*ing grass