They’ve been constructing a very powerful catapult, your package will be launched at the correct trajectory tomorrow morning. Please ensure you have a net positioned at the correct coordinates to avoid any damage.
I’ve long humored the idea of ballistic fried chicken.
Fired from a giant cannon, friction cooks it to perfection on its way to you. Sadly, the math and materials science just aren’t on my side. You’d need to be very precise to avoid overcooking, or accidentally pulping the chicken with too high of a muzzle velocity (because then you just have a soup gun). And like, you’d have to have some sort of sabot that disintegrates into edible spices.
Even if you could figure out delivery (and not wind up with it arriving embedded with smog or STARLINK satellites) there’s still the matter of receipt without destroying homes.
You would need to gradually speed up the chicken, and keep it there for quite some time.
Spin launch. You put your chicken in a centrifuge and spin it up to something like 1500 miles per hour with an open cockpit. Then after a few minutes of ablative cooking you release the capsule towards your intended victim.
I suspect an air fryer might give you better results though.
They’ve been constructing a very powerful catapult, your package will be launched at the correct trajectory tomorrow morning. Please ensure you have a net positioned at the correct coordinates to avoid any damage.
Although a funny idea, this could never work.
Now, if it was a trebuchet…
If the package get enough speed to make it, I think the package would need a heat shield !
I’ve long humored the idea of ballistic fried chicken.
Fired from a giant cannon, friction cooks it to perfection on its way to you. Sadly, the math and materials science just aren’t on my side. You’d need to be very precise to avoid overcooking, or accidentally pulping the chicken with too high of a muzzle velocity (because then you just have a soup gun). And like, you’d have to have some sort of sabot that disintegrates into edible spices.
Even if you could figure out delivery (and not wind up with it arriving embedded with smog or STARLINK satellites) there’s still the matter of receipt without destroying homes.
You would need to gradually speed up the chicken, and keep it there for quite some time.
Spin launch. You put your chicken in a centrifuge and spin it up to something like 1500 miles per hour with an open cockpit. Then after a few minutes of ablative cooking you release the capsule towards your intended victim.
I suspect an air fryer might give you better results though.