Good of you to figure that out. Don’t see a better outcome if you’ve been explained the same concept four separate times, and you still don’t get it, which would be fine, but you fault the explanation, and not your inability to understand it. I hope you keep your interest in wanting to figure things out. I’m going to assume you’re young enough that you shouldn’t feel bad about it either. That said, you’d do yourself a favor in dropping the whole sealioning attitude.