I may have to work for a childish manager: he is older than me, which should mean he is more mature than me but he acts like a teenager, somebody I would never befriend out of the workplace. I don’t know if he is simply this childish or if this is a facade he’s been told to maintain.
I like to use downtime to learn, because my field is huge and there is so much stuff I barely understand, because learning opens doors to better jobs and because almost half of my coworkers bore me, use every excuse to smoke and if I read at least I don’t have to talk to them.
I don’t like wasting my time.
I worked for this manager, in the past: he had the guts to tell me I have to talk to him, as if I don’t give him the attention he craves for I’m not good enough for him. I told him I am all to talk about the job, the science behind it (science I barely understand), about the devices we use, not about his life, not about what he did on his weekend, not about his problems with his wife.
He didn’t say anything and to this day I don’t know if I pissed him. I neither understand why doing your job is not enough. I’m there for a paycheck and to learn.
Working for this person is a terrible idea, right?
One of my biggest pet peeves is being forced to befriend people I don’t feel attached to. It feels fake and walking on eggshells, like trying to guess what the needy person wants to hear, like he was a child. Why can’t you say hi and get things done?
He is being childish, but if I am completely honest, it sounds like you are a little too. Not in how bothered you are by the situation (understandable), but more how you perceive it.
I totally understand wanting to just do the work and cut the meaningless chatter, but the reality is a job usually has more abstract requirements outside of specific job tasks. One of these is getting your manager to like you. Social cohesion is one of the things workplaces tend to look for.
Not every manager cares about small talk perhaps as much as yours does, but that’s the situation you are in.
My advice would be to decide on one of the following 1) work elsewhere where you can thrive without this obstacle, 2) develop the skill of faking being interested, or 3) do nothing but get frustrated and possibly miss out on promotions or similar.
Wishing you the best, from a socially inept person with autism who relates to that dread, haha.
Absolutely agree with this and would add you come across as snobbish and your manager may feel demeaned by this, which won’t go well for you in the long run.-regardless of your intentions