So take everything I say as a sample size of 1. I am autistic and have CPTSD from childhood neglect.
Yeah it’s true. But to me it’s not a good thing. It’s that your standards go to shit! I’ve said my whole life that parents don’t seem happier with kids they seem so utterly broken that they are able to celebrate really basic things.
You become thankful for the small things because the big things are gone. You choose to love X because Y is not an option any more etc.
There are chemical processes that make you all lovey dovey for your kid for sure, but to be honest… Definitely not enough. I remember in the first year thinking how did we survive evolutionarily? I would def without a solid moral compass have left this thing in a cave and walked away so many times! 😂
In short, before I had kids I could do what I want, when I wanted, I had friends, I saw my family, I had more money, I could spend time on personal development, I could take a couple of hours to breathe and reset my nervous system if needed, etc. For years those things stop existing and they mostly will not be the same again for at least a decade or so… Even then I don’t know. It’s genuinely a horrific decision in so many ways.
To be honest I’m not entirely sure the whole “your mind clicks a different way” isn’t just a trauma response 😅
Anyways, I know I’m an outlier. But it’s hard for me to really believe folks that speak SO positively of it… I just don’t see it in their lives, they also look like they have given up so much for so little.
Some say “your mind clicks in a different way once you have kids”. like in a ‘you see things and life from a different perspective’ way
What would you say to that, is that part still true for you?
So take everything I say as a sample size of 1. I am autistic and have CPTSD from childhood neglect.
Yeah it’s true. But to me it’s not a good thing. It’s that your standards go to shit! I’ve said my whole life that parents don’t seem happier with kids they seem so utterly broken that they are able to celebrate really basic things.
You become thankful for the small things because the big things are gone. You choose to love X because Y is not an option any more etc.
There are chemical processes that make you all lovey dovey for your kid for sure, but to be honest… Definitely not enough. I remember in the first year thinking how did we survive evolutionarily? I would def without a solid moral compass have left this thing in a cave and walked away so many times! 😂
In short, before I had kids I could do what I want, when I wanted, I had friends, I saw my family, I had more money, I could spend time on personal development, I could take a couple of hours to breathe and reset my nervous system if needed, etc. For years those things stop existing and they mostly will not be the same again for at least a decade or so… Even then I don’t know. It’s genuinely a horrific decision in so many ways.
To be honest I’m not entirely sure the whole “your mind clicks a different way” isn’t just a trauma response 😅
Anyways, I know I’m an outlier. But it’s hard for me to really believe folks that speak SO positively of it… I just don’t see it in their lives, they also look like they have given up so much for so little.
thanks for sharing