Feelings I had for my classmate were obviously one-sided (pretty sure of it), so I made a reasonable decision to never confess to not make things awkward. In a few years since we graduated I finally moved on, although I never loved anyone this much since.
Yet all this time I had a desire to tell her about them. I would definitely want to know if someone loved me this much ever. Would she? I don’t know. I don’t even know if she is in a relationship right now or not.
I would really want to cite some scientific study that “Over 80% of girls have their self-confidence lifted after being told they were secretly admired (p<0.05)”, but can’t find one.
The problem with sharing now is it comes off as insincere — why, after all this time, is NOW suddenly the time to share?
because you’re stupid and you still cling to this memory as a deep truth, rather than a childish crush.
A lot of folks are like this. They would rather live in a idealized memory and cherish it rather than realize how dumb it is to do that.
And that in fact, this person you loved in high school is most likely nothing like they were then, and probably never was going to measure up to the ideal of them you were ‘in love’ with in your head.
Fantasy is way way more emotionally powerful than reality. It never gets checked by human flaws, limits, and misunderstanding.
I think I’d remove the “stupid” bit though; a lot of people who live their fantasy life in their head seem to be much happier in general than those of us who hold up such things against a backdrop of critical thinking.
They don’t, however, seem to learn from their mistakes or improve their lot in life, except by accident. But they’re generally quite happy at the expense of the people around them they invariably impact by remembering what never was. Some people will abandon them to their fiction after attempting to help them escape it, but others will enable them, trying to create a semblance of the reality that would never happen naturally. See the US government for a fascinating case study of how this plays out.