Source: Reddit user choice_evidence1983

My CEO is harassing me and my family to stay after resignation.

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/Fun_Hovercraft5881

Originally posted to r/auscorp

My CEO is harassing me and my family to stay after resignation.

Thanks to u/wardy_12 for the suggestion

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Original Post: February 25, 2026

I am using a burner account because my real account could identify me and my current employer.

I joined my current employer straight out of university eight years ago as a software engineer. I was employee number nine during their startup phase and received stock, which is now just under 3% of the company. The company now has around 120 employees but only 6 of remaining early crew have stock options. Since the day I joined, I have always reported to the Head of Engineering. I have never reported directly to the CEO. Because I joined early, both my partner and I know the CEO and his family in a semi‑work, semi‑social way.

The company built some innovative technology, has good income but has struggled to expand because they lack the funds. I know the CEO/founder has been trying to raise capital or sell the business for about a year now without much luck, and he has been open about this with the early staff.

During my annual review last year, I asked about moving into a more senior role. My manager said the next role up was his, and he joked he had no plans to move. He did say he would support me if I wanted to apply for more senior roles outside the company because he believed I had the skills and experience to step up.

Around October last year, a much larger company reached out to me with a more senior role. After a few interviews, it became clear they were looking to build a competing product to my current employer. I eventually received a provisional offer in January. They reviewed my contract and confirmed I do not have a non‑compete. This was also confirmed by my manager and HR at my current employer. They completed the reference check with my manager and said they got a “stellar reference.”

I received the formal offer, accepted it, and resigned last Thursday. The next day the CEO messaged me asking for a call, where he requested that I postpone my end date to mid‑May. I am not working on any time‑critical projects. When I asked my manager, he said he was also asked to try to convince me to stay until mid‑May. The CEO and my manager mentioned my stock options, which will be forfeited if I leave. I already knew this, but given the state of the company, I’m not concerned about losing them as there is no realistic chance to sell them anyway.

I spoke to my new employer, and they want me to start in March. They are keen to get going and plan to send me to their head office in Europe for induction in April and May. My partner and I want to travel together and enjoy a holiday over Easter while our living and travel costs are covered. Last Friday I emailed my CEO thanking him for the past eight years but confirming my final day would be in March. He called me immediately after receiving the email and again tried hard to convince me to stay until May, again mentioning the stock forfeiture.

Last night the CEO’s wife, who we’ve known since the startup days, called my partner and asked her to talk to me about staying until May. My partner felt very uncomfortable and ended the call quickly.

Over the weekend, I spoke to my current manager, and he said that if he were me, he would try to push back the end date to mid‑May. I also spoke to a family friend who is a lawyer (corporate law), and he confirmed that my contract does not contain a non‑compete. He mentioned that the CEO might want me to stay because the business could be less valuable for sale if I leave to work on a competing product.

I am feeling completely creeped out by this. I still have almost three weeks left in my notice period. I am currently earning about $180,000, and the new job is $200,000.

TLDR: I resigned from my job last week after getting a new job offer, and I have a six week notice period. After I resigned, the CEO has been calling me to change my finish date to mid‑May. Over the weekend, the CEO’s wife even called my partner asking her to convince me to change my end date.

Are these calls legal? Can they block my new job? How do I get them to stop so that I don’t have to deal with awkward conversations for the rest of my notice period?

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: I would ask your lawyer friend about your vesting options for the stock. 3% is not small. Usually you would have a vesting schedule for the stock of when you can exercise your stock option. It shouldn’t be auto forfeiture since its part of your compensation and there should have been a way to retrieve it. Companies must have a way to get your stock otherwise it would be an unlawful benefit you can never receive.

OOP: I looked at this last year. I can exercise my options for just over $100,000 in cash. A former co-worker exercised her options right after COVID and she is still holding them with no way to sell them. Also don’t have a handy $100 grand

Commenter 2: You need to speak with a friend in finance.

If you exercise “options” they become actual “shares” (it’s an option to buy the share at a set price).

You should be able to find out what the current valuation for the company is. You forfeit the “options” if you leave but if you exercise them into shares you own them and still own them if you leave.

Commenter 3: Why are the shares not saleable? Usually the way options work, you can sell them when you exercise the option. E.g., the company is worth a million, and they give you an option for 1000 shares at $100k. Years later, the company is worth 4 million, and 1000 shares are worth $400k. So you exercise your options, sell a quarter of the shares to cover the cost of exercising, and end up with 750 shares worth $300k. Or you cash them all out, and walk away with $300k cash (less tax).

OOP: Company is not public. No one I know is interested buying 3% of a startup/mid stage company which is 60% controlled by the founder.

Commenter 4: Definitely sounds like your CEO is trying to look after you and make sure you get your 3% when the business sells, there’s no other logical explanation to me.

I would ask the CEO to a coffee and just have a mate to mate chat and ask what the main reason for wanting you to stay is so you can make an educated decision. Make sure to go into this chat in a very appreciative way in terms of your time at the company, their support etc. Don’t position it in an accusatory way.

OOP: CEO is currently traveling overseas and is not available for a coffee. All communication has been via teams or phone.

Commenter 5: You know the answer. You want to leave on good terms but you also have to do what’s right for you and your family.

I would politely once again tell them no, and that your decision has been made.

You are happy to forfeit your stock options, the future value of the business is not your problem.

OOP: I have repeatedly said no but the ongoing attempts to make me stay is making me anxious. I feel like they have some nuclear option they have not used yet.

Commenter 6: OP, don’t fumble this. What’s your company ARR, NRR and growth rate atm? You might be throwing away millions. 3% is a large stake for a early employee. Even if it sells for high tens of million, it is still a big number. (editor’s note: Annual Recurring Revenue, Net Revenue Retention)

I’m also a software engineer, early employee and have good relationships with Head of Eng and CEO since the start. I’m not looking to move anywhere but my options get forfeited only 5 years after my departure.

 

Update #1: March 4, 2026 (one week later)

I have received a number of DMs asking for an update.

Thank you to everyone who offered feedback and advice on my original post. I read all your comments, thought things through carefully, and discussed everything with my partner and family.

Most of you suggested that I leave now rather than inconvenience my new employer or risk starting the next role on the wrong foot. My partner has been saying the same thing since I received the offer. After reflecting on your advice, I realized my current employer has been taking advantage of my loyalty, especially by not promoting me or offering meaningful career progression. I’m normally a very passive person, and I think this situation was the push I needed to finally move on.

Over the weekend, I received another phone call from the CEO, and that was the final straw. When I asked why I was being asked to stay until May, he was evasive and non‑committal. So, on Monday, with help from my partner’s brother (a lawyer), I wrote an honest letter to the head of HR and copied in my manager and the CEO.

In the letter, I thanked the CEO, my manager, and the company for the past eight years of experience that ultimately gave me the confidence to lead my own team at my new organisation. I also stated that I felt unduly pressured and harassed to stay significantly beyond my notice period, which could jeopardize my new role. I requested that they stop contacting me about the matter and advised that if it continued, I would consider pursuing legal options to protect my mental health.

I sent the letter Monday evening. By Tuesday morning, HR asked me to join a Teams meeting. My manager and the head of HR were there, and they offered to pay out my notice period and end my employment immediately. They also confirmed that neither the CEO, his wife, nor any other company officer would contact me again, except through HR. They provided a separation agreement that seemed straightforward. My lawyer friend reviewed it, and I signed it that evening.

Yesterday, I returned my equipment, said a quick goodbye, and left. This morning, all payments owed to me arrived in my account.

With the extra three weeks of paid leave, my partner and I are now planning to head to Europe earlier, and my new employer just agreed to change the planned flights to make this possible.

TLDR: I told my employer I’m leaving, and I’ve been pressured to stay on well past my notice period. I pushed back, and they ended up offering to pay out my notice and end my employment as of yesterday. Thanks to your advice, I also got an extra three weeks of paid leave.

 

Final Update: June 28, 2026 (over 3.5 months later)

The day after my second post I formally finished up with my previous employer. A week later, we traveled to Europe with airfares for both paid by my new employer. They actually paid for a business class fair for me which we used to buy two economy return tickets. My official work was starting after Easter, so we had almost 4 weeks as a vacation and the pay in lieu was covering all the costs. We travelled around Europe, and I proposed to my partner, and she said yes. We spent Easter with some family in Ireland started work on the 13th of April.

Everything thig was going really well. Plan was to build and market the next generation of the product developed by my previous employer. The new company had the money and resources to make it happen. I worked with their salespeople to work out a value proposition and pitch deck which they would use to approach customers after the summer. My new employer had very good contacts into customers who are also based in Europe and were confident they can convert them quickly. We planned out building a team in Australia and possibly even approaching some my ex-colleagues. My task was to create a technical strategy and help create a more detailed business plan for approval by the board before they took their summer vacation in mid-June.

We came back to Australia in mid-May. I hit the ground running and started working on the technical and business plans. I sent out a few feelers to old colleagues about meeting for a coffee and my new role but there were no replies. Later that week I got a ping from my old manager asking to meet about a coffee. I met with him, and this is where things started to go very wrong. My old colleagues who I had reached out to told him I had done so. They did not want to move. They felt uncomfortable talking to me, hence the coffee meeting.

It turns out my previous employer had been purchased. The CEO has put together a deal where three of their largest customers created a company where they owned 30% each and he owned 10%. This new company then purchased my previous employer. The sale price was just over 35 million Australian dollars. The option and shareholders got cashed out. The non shareholding staff received bonuses of $5,000-$30,000 depending on their length of services. Key staff have been offered 100% of their salary as a bonus per year if they stayed for two more years. He even engineered the options to be bought out without having to exercise them so the options holders could claim the 50% CGT discount for holding them for more than a year.

Message delivered, nicely but firmly, was none of my colleagues wanted to move. Please stop contacting them.

My share would have been about $960,000 before tax. My first rection was anger. Off the cuff, at the coffee meeting, I threatened to sue to get my share. This wrapped up the coffee quickly. I planned to look over my contracts later that weekend with my soon to be brother-in-law/lawyer. But before we could, I got an email from the in-house lawyer for my previous employer. Attached were screen shots of slack conversations, phone logs and copies of emails. The bottom line was the CEO had instructed my manager to do “whatever it takes” to get me to stay until the close and pushed this message repeatedly. They could not tell me the details as they were waiting for regulatory approval from 4 counties as 3 competitors were forming a joint venture with a supplier. That process had been happening for almost 9 months. Any leak or sign of impropriety would sink the whole deal. When I threatened legal action that changed everything. That would have sunk the deal, so they cut all contact quickly and moved on. The email said that considering all the information provided my assertion is wrong and if we commence legal action, they will use this email as evidence when they pursue costs. My fiancée’s brother agreed and I replied back apologizing, completely withdrawing any allegations of impropriety and promising not to sue.

I was devastated. I had left close to a million dollars behind when I changed jobs. My plan for a new team was in tatters. To say I shut down is an understatement. I barely could think straight. I took a few mental health days and managed to find a privately funded psychologist. I am slowly beginning to recover. Even after 6 weeks, even things like planning for the wedding reminds me of what it could have been. To say my relationship is at a low point is an understatement. This weekend we went to buy a couch, and I almost ended up in tears because I thought about what we could afford to spend.

To add insult to injury I was told two weeks ago my board paper for the new venture has been delayed until after the summer break. Informally I get the feeling the board is reevaluating the whole strategy as my previous company has taken the three biggest customers off the table. They are likely to lock in a few others too. Some of the smaller customers may still be an opportunity but the financials are not nearly attractive with just them. I am hoping for the best.

I am barely functional enough to write this post now, and it took all my effort and a weekend to do that.

Even though logically I still have a well-paying job with a good company, have good friends and about to get married soon I can’t stop dwelling on what could have been. I am still at the stage of blaming myself for the way I acted that resulted in this situation. Writing this is has been cathartic and somewhat therapeutic. I am angry or sad all the time. I am sure this will pass eventually but I think I will regret how I acted for the rest of my life.

If I get the courage to revisit this post in the next few days I should be able to answer any questions

 

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