I genuinely have nothing to put on a CV besides (lack of) education.
No projects, no hobbies, no experience, no* nothing.
*^{"no nothing" sounds like negation of false}
But I also guess it can’t really be that empty.

I found posting for a job I could perhaps do**, though unfortunately they want a CV.

**The posting mentions this

Don’t worry - we are not looking for experience, we are looking for a quality colleague who is eager to learn and grow - both at work and personally. What is important to us is that you have determination and responsibility. We will teach you everything you need - from the technical side to communication with customers.

Sounds good as I have no experience, but… CV.

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Anyway, I am also questioning what to make it in. Originally I though of using LaTeX, but that needs more time. I only really tried to use it once, and that was pain. So many packages, what do they do, how do I use them. Like learning to swim by jumping into a lake.

LibreOffice Write/Draw is probably what I’ll have to go with. Draw lets me easily put whatever I want wherever I want. And of course, export that to PDF.

Lastly, I need sleep now. It is unfortunate, as I have most energy and will to do things at night. However, this also includes crazy thoughts and ideas, such as making a second, crazy version of my CV.
Although extremely unprofessional, outdated HTML 3.2, old non-standard elements like blink and marquee, animated bullet points, animated tiled background, and “under construction” GIF in the experience section would be truly memorable.
Of course, I couldn’t just send Tar-ed page source. But since it would be a single-page “document”, all the GIFs could be withing the HTML file encoded in base 64.
Not that I plan to do it, but I personally like the vision in my mind.

Thank you for your attention.