

Congratulations on the new experience!
Many have said clever things already, but I felt I could contribute that sex with another person doesn’t need to be in the same category as sex with yourself. Just as cooking or shopping a gift for yourself doesn’t need to be the same as for someone else.
Typically there’s a social component, enjoying eachother and oneself with that other, there might be creative collaboration, there might be inspiration, comfort, care and/or sharing. There’s a lot to explore in doing it with other people, both nice and not. Some of it might compare, either can be bad or great, but I’d argue we’d have more joy treating them as separate and discover the intentions and possibilities that make them such.





The reaction probably comes because rejection, being ignored, and/or ostracised are perceived as real injury by your brain.
Anger typically comes from fear, and the threat of ostracisation is an existential threat for the typical human brain.
We evolved as social beings, social injury and threat works the same as other types.