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If the president was kidnapped by ninjas, we will send two dudes to rescue him and hope those dudes are bad enough to succeed.

The wrong weed.

If that fighter actually wins, it’ll be pretty funny.

Especially if they’re not even scheduled to fight.

Too many people don’t know what trolling actually is, and also assume anything said to them is hostile.

Trolling implies intent. Are they trying to piss you off, or are you just being an over sensitive little bitch?

There used to be ash trays in public spaces. Like, it was super common.

Since public smoking bans are more common, there are no ash trays anywhere. So people just throw their shit on the ground.

Removing ash trays isn’t going to make smokers go “oh well, guess I should stop smoking.” It makes them go “oh well, I guess there’s nowhere to throw this away, it’s going on the ground now.”

The amnesia part, yes. The case of mistaken identity? Definitely real.

I’m angy and my back hurts.

Why is your wife peeing while standing up? 🤔