Go to BlueSky for political news. Lemmy news and politics is compromised

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Cake day: April 1st, 2024

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  • There is no outside feature on men that cam predict dick size, including height.

    When in middle school, the reason height and dick size are related is due to testosterone at that age and who is developing sooner, it isn’t per se an indication of actual adult dick size. You were just observing the influence of testosterone and puberty.

    I have met several gigantic dicks, some on short men. I have met several very tall men with tiny dicks. There is no way to know someone’s dick size until you look at their dick.

    Alcoholism will ruin your ability to get hard and your apparently one redeeming quality so you may want to get that in check or learn how to eat mad pussy





  • There’s always tomorrow. It’s a good sign you don’t want to be like the person who hurt you and already differentiates you from them as a parent. You are already doing better than your mom by thinking that.

    That “worms” feeling and the staying up late is because your brain is using histamine and adrenaline (plus other stuff) to make a lot of neural connections that were already close by. It will mildly restrict blood flow from smaller capillaries too. You can keep that busy or more switched off mentally by exercising and especially doing something that moves your eyes and the muscles under your eyes, eg face yoga. That gets the circulation going back into the small capillaries and helps you reset biochemically. Even just flexing your undereyes (like John Wayne squints) will encourage blood flow in your face and help.

    It is a lot of work and pain now, but it is absolutely worth it to see through the bullshit and heal yourself. I am a happier person for it 1000%. It’s worth it to be brave but go slow and don’t push it. Take breaks.

    Therapists can be hit or miss (a bad one is worse than no therapist), but you can find one that specializes in BPD that can help guide you (not that you per se have it, but they work with it a lot and can help you understand it really well). BPD, even residual fleas from parents, is VERY treatable with dialectal behavior therapy and talk therapy as long as the person wants to learn and the therapist is adequate (some aren’t).



  • He has been sexually abused by her, perhaps covertly. There is enough in what you described that if I was a mandated reporter, I’d be making a call. From what I know of CSA, he has multiple flags and signs of being sexually abused (nearly every sentence you wrote, actually). Kids don’t run around with their genitals put like that, chasing people, unless they were abused. Literally every developmentally delayed perskn I’ve known to do that ended up being sexually abused. Did he bed wet or soil his bedding at night as well, well into older age, eg middle school age, when he shouldn’t have been doing that?

    Highly recommend, when you feel okay to do so, to look up emotional incest first, and parentification/adultification. That will explain how your mother has been grooming your brother to be her stand-in husband. The reason she didn’t want him to go to school is because a husband her age wouldn’t go to school (they are also full of mandated reporters - did she also avoid taking him to doctors and dentists?).

    It sounds like your mom also had an emotionally incestuous relationship with you as well, so reading that material can be extremely “triggering” for you. My sincere condolences, it is very traumatizing. Reading about it can bring up old memories as your brain tries to organize old memories with this new information. Often people get tired, agitated, or even regress in age. Give yourself plenty of time to mentally adjust and read and lots of breaks outside walking around, ideally in nature, w eyeballs moving around and looking up at trees or clouds. OR you can try to play a game like Tetris afterwards (Tetris is specifically studied as being helpful for PTSD/trauma).

    I will also rec the book The Borderline Mother, I’m not sure this applies to her at all, but my guess is that it does

    https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbyborderlines/comments/1gle1x1/my_summary_of_understanding_the_borderline_mother/

    And if it does, also recommend the book Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist. Likely you already do much of this which is why you’re the “black sheep” (aka you dont give her supply).








  • If they have a hybrid, the engine doesn’t idle all night, only intermittently to charge the battery.

    It is more ethical and better for the environment to leave a hybrid running all night (engine only kicking on every so often) than a typical home or apartment which has a much bigger daily carbon impact. A hybrid isn’t the same as a normal idling car.

    People die in heat and live in their cars. Do you go without air conditioning when it’s over 100 degrees out? No, because you don’t want to die of heatstroke, right? So why is your indoor climate control more justified?

    And yeah car exhaust is bad for everyone, I agree, including the person in the idling car.