All of these make sense. All the others seem like crazy talk.

Those are extenuating circumstances. All allowances should be made for pregnant ladies. All other times I’m a lid down man. That time when I was drunk and squished my balls while sitting on the lid were my own damn fault.

I’ve never pissed on the lid while creeping sleepily to the loo in the middle of the night. I don’t see how people falling in toilets haven’t stubbed their toes clean off, walking around blindly all the time.