Very difficult to immerse yourself into these, though, because of their density being about 2x that of the human body.

You’ll completely float on mercury, and cesium does no good to your body. Like, at all.

• Your former school teachers die. At this point, I think the majority of mine is gone.
• Your gum recedes, and there’s nothing you can do about it except to stop smoking. On a larger scale, your circulation gets worse because your erythrocytes become less elastic, for reasons still unknown. Add to this the most damaging impact of UV light and our atmosphere’s oxygen - an objectively very aggressive chemical - and you start shriveling, just withering away from the outside. Molecular bonds are simply getting broken faster than they get repaired. Your insides last a bit longer, but their days are numbered, too.
• On the plus side, you’ll get to learn new words for body parts you didn’t even know you had.

Ain’t it brutal? They say if you haven’t started balding at age 40, you probably never will, but I’ve known several people with a full head of lush hair at 40, and in their early fifties, it’s all gone to hell.

Agreed. At some point in your life, time becomes the biggest luxury, so I very much prefer spending a couple of extra bucks on higher quality stuff to the hassle of returning cheaply made junk.