A phone with a 5-5.5" screen. I’d be fine with a midrange chipset and camera. The Zenfone 10 was the last one that even came closer but they would only support it for two years and locked the bootloader (and lied about the unlock service eventually coming back online).
The ODROID-HC4 has two SATA ports. Alternatively, you can get one with an NVMe slot and stick a NVMe to SATA card in it that will likely get you four ports.
What Swartz did was not even close. What he did was absolutely fair use. He downloaded shit from JSTOR while at MIT which is fine because MIT allows students and employees to access JSTOR. There was no evidence that he shared anything.
I was very saddened to hear about this earlier. The dude had a passion and he was great at helping others get into it too.
I grew up in the 90s so just existing would cause people to call you gay.
Another option would be to get a RPi and throw a hat on it:
https://radxa.com/products/accessories/penta-sata-hat/