I’m so old I remember reading the ingredients on the shampoo bottle because my brother took the bathroom joke book with him after pooping.

I’m so old I remember grabbing The Onion from the free dispenser outside my apartment building.

I’m so old I get a PSA test annually and need to schedule a colonoscopy

I do regret not ordering the matching embroidered “Face” and “Ass” towels from an ad in The Onion when I had a chance.

You don’t take the Sears catalogue into the outhouse for the paper, you take it for the lingerie section. If you need a book of good wiping paper you take the Farmers Almanac

The dead don’t talk
But their children don’t forget
So in 20 short years
You could live to regret that

• Jesse Welles, “War Isn’t Murder”

Exactly!

While CICO is universally true, it doesn’t account for a few other factors. For instance, gut microbiome. Gut flora has a strong affect on cravings. Also mental and emotional health also affect self control and regulation. Food “science” has created craving monstrosities snacks that are as addictive as cigarettes. Personal health issues like PCOS and thyroid dysfunction will affect how many calories are consumed by the body and how those calories are used within the body.

So yes, eat less and lose weight. Sure. Some people can lose weight eating junk. For others it creates a reward cascade in the brain that leads to overeating. Just eat less. For some that’s as practical as telling a lifelong smoker to give up the habit. And that’s why medical alternatives to self control exist, but aren’t successful without addressing the root cause of the obesity.

I’m Appalachian. Yes I’m of Scotch-Irish descent and my family name is most definitely English, but I’m Appalachian. My forbears were rednecks and communists. And bigots. And public servants. And settlers (murderers of many indigenous peoples). And Union soldiers. In my ancestry are victims of rape and rapists. I’m most comfortable in Northern Scotland and Southern Scandinavia. The land calls out to something ancient within me. I want to raise sheep and live above a barn. My tribe is nebulous, and I’m at peace with that. Some are not.

The United States is a melting pot, and personal identity is both exalted and at the same time completely irrelevant. You’re “American” first, and everything else second. Some people cling to a tribe or identity to call their own. Since no one in Europe knows what a “Packer” is, they’ll say they’re Norwegian-American. They want recognition of their tribe. They want to identify with something bigger, and have the security of others of their tribe when they travel. They want connection. I would hazard that most who put their foot in their mouth while traveling don’t realize the faux pas. They think it’s a way of connecting with others from another place.

“Oh! You’re Italian? Hey, so am I! My mom makes the best Fettuccine Alfredo. I love cannoli. Do you like pizza? Please see me. Please accept me. I’m alone here and no one will riff with me. I’m trying to connect. I’m trying to meet you halfway. I’m trying…”

I, too, nominate this person’s mother

InB4 someone talks about how big her balls are

Cool lady tho, thanks for the post

godDAMNIT

I’m leaving it up

Creed is just the diet Christian Rock version of Pearl Jamb

Like, in the lower molar, where it meets the gums? Or suctioned to the base of your tongue? Cause one of those is common, and it ain’t the suction one

Is a breakfast burrito a sandwich?

Asking for a friend

I made one yesterday. I tried using 100% butter in the crust instead of 50/50 butter/shortening. It was delicious. Harder to work, i wound up putting it in the fridge for a couple hours so that I could work it before it got too soft, but absolutely delicious. Melt in you mouth top crust, with just the right about of flake.

I also made the rue thicker than usual, knowing most of it would be lunch later this week. After resting for an hour it had the consistency of a fresh quiche, almost like a custard. Thus my shower (kitchen) thought

Booooo! Get out of here with that reasonable and accurate analysis! We’re not here for truth, we’re here for shower facts

(Yes you are correct, eggs =/= chicken as an ingredient. You learn this when you try to use pureed chicken breast as an egg replacement in cake. It was a meaty cake)

Same!

Binging Fargo rn, season one is pretty great so far

And you’re like the father I never visit