Or you could live in a less urban area, specifically one where transplants are less common than people who grew up less than 30 min away. People who never left their home town, whose friend group also never left, still have all their friends from school and don’t need or want more. They don’t really want to be your friend even if you do click. You can meet them out dozens of times and have running jokes when you see each other, but they’ll never go out of their way to make or keep plans.

Everyone who moves to my current area says basically the same thing about how difficult it is to make friends here. People much more commonly get their friends hired with them than make friends with new people who get hired, so even that hasn’t been a super fruitful endeavor. Only people I’ve managed to make lasting friends with have also been from elsewhere and struggled.

That’s not to say people aren’t nice and welcoming, they are, they just aren’t welcoming into their social circles.

IMHO everyone should invest in waterproof mattress barriers. Being waterproof, they prevent all the night sweat and body oils from soaking in and degrading the mattress faster (which is a legit issue that contributes to the body valley), but it also makes them dirt and bedbug proof. And if you put it under a mattress pad, you won’t even know it’s there. They aren’t like the thick noisy plastic of days gone by. If it’s directly under sheets you might hear it, but they are not particularly loud.

They are also dirt cheap; the last one I bought was $13 for a queen size, and as long as it doesn’t tear, it’ll last basically forever. It rarely even needs to be washed. Small price to pay to keep my mattress a bit nicer a bit longer, even though it won’t make it last forever. :)

Usually both, in my experience.

You’ll have fans for plants that firm up stems and stuff, in addition to helping with transpiration.

Then you’ll have fans or passive vents near the highest point that move air outside, usually for the sake of venting excess heat and humidity. If you live somewhere cold, these probably stay closed through colder times and are active/open only during the height of summer (these are often the passive vents). If you live somewhere warm, it’ll probably always be active fan-driven, and usually running.

A lot of people have their ventilation system hooked to climate control sensors, so it only engages when it crosses a certain threshold.

Mmm I need to replace my rotted out front porch that is sagging and causing my front door to go out of square but it’s also not supposed to be part of the building at all technically…? I mean most of the additions to my house were never filed.… let’s just pretend that didn’t happen. And the rest of the omfg problem projects didn’t happen either…. The whole owning thing sucks.

Haha wasn’t anything personal, or meant to make you feel any sort of way, just an old-school problem with modern tech exacerbation.

My house is 140 years old and modern advice doesn’t apply to most of it unfortunately. Every project ends up being a dozen more projects because nothing from then applies to now.

But I’ve learned. So if I choose to lathe and plaster my next house, well I can fix it, too, damnit.

😭 I have two of those actively pulling out of my lathe and plaster walls. I don’t know how to fix it other than just take down the shelves, fully patch it, and never use that part of the wall again.

I should have gone with the plastic ones that reach out behind the thin plaster to grip on, because failure wouldn’t have destroyed the wall, but my dumb ass listened to the dude who told me the metal screw-in setbolt option was the superior option.

I use “my mother” for the same effect, but she died when I was in my early 20s.

I sometimes wonder if we could have made things work, or if I could have figured out stuff for both of us (we know I had adhd from my dad, but I’m pretty sure the autism came from her, and that was a post-death discovery)

But then I remember how hard she was to live with and that I probably wouldn’t have grown the way I did… so maybe I wouldn’t even know I’m autistic at ~40…? Idk, I wouldn’t be who I am today if she was still around though, that’s a certainty.

She never wanted kids. When I was 16 she told me all about how my sister was the product of marital rape and I was the planned companion for the rape baby she didn’t want… cool… my life in context.

Well my sister fucking hates me and always has (because she was the golden child, first born to a woman in her 30s, hallelujah!), so that worked super well. We haven’t spoken in almost 20 years now, my sister and I. Born 11 months apart. Wish she’d just had an only child, tbh.

I got one good thing from her though: perspective. She clearly didn’t want kids and I know how that turned out when she had them, and I also don’t want kids, so whenever anyone pushed back on my choice to get my tubes tied in my mid 20s, I was like nope. “What if I regret not having them? Fine I regret lots of things I’ve chosen to do or not do, but what if I’m like my mom and regret having them? There’s no solution to that… And I know how it turns out…”

No, not for many years now. This all happened 2008-10. I threatened a restraining order, and claimed I was sending everything to my attorney, including over a year worth of unanswered monthly “still made at me?” type of messages, and never heard from them again.

Several years later I learned they became a felon for sexual assault of another person (idk the person, but it does make keeping tabs on the stalker very easy as they are on the offender registry).

Soon I’ll be moving away from the area entirely and I’ll feel a lot better.

I wouldn’t call it clingy so much as my ex was a stalker who followed me 1300 miles…

It depends how I shove the tray back in. I add eggs to them more often than I take them out.

Currently I’m sorting my quail eggs between small and large because I’m going to use the small ones for chive blossom pickled eggs, and the large for a big batch of cookies, but usually they just end up wherever they fit, one tray at a time.

My chickens are going to be another month or two before they start laying.

I’m always home and don’t care if solicitors know it. If they look in the window they walk past, they see me. I used to try to hide but now I just watch them.

I have a no soliciting sign I wrote myself and taped to the door that says simply “no soliciting, no exceptions”. If they knock or leave their shit on my door I report them to the company they came from, as that’s illegal in my area. I frame it as their canvassers needing up-training and remind the company that if it continues they are breaking the law each and every time, and if it happens again I won’t contact them about it, I’ll report it elsewhere. I submit the thing anonymously through whatever contact us portal they have and a bullshit email address, so they can’t tie it to an address.

The only people who are legally allowed to knock are canvassers for political shit (and census people but that’s rare) so during election seasons I have a separate sign that says “I refuse to talk about politics with strangers. Go away and take your junk with you.”

I don’t get bothered much. But I do see people walk up to my door, then leave, at least once a week.

I’ve never had a problem with uninvited guests tho, as I’ve never ever had an open door policy for anyone. If I don’t expect you, you don’t come in. End of.

I don’t know this company but fiber came into my area (central WI) a few years ago and I couldn’t be happier.

Prior to that the infrastructure I was on for cable internet was old and would have frequent problems.

The brand new infrastructure is figuratively worth its weight in gold, imho, even if the company itself is just as crap and your price ends up the same.

Even better, the fiber cables run underground, so other than having them severed when digging, they won’t go out unless there is a major widespread outage. No random branch taking out your service in a wind storm or whatever nonsense.

I’ve been doing these for years… they don’t work as intended for more than a year or two, and then become pretty unstable. Even the lady who created it went back to low-maintenance (as opposed to zero input) systems after a few years. Still with the dirt and all but not without water movement and stuff.

This is how I feel whenever I stumble upon some random Indian dude explaining math or something.

That high-effort calm optimism is so good for teaching!

But it has tent mode! You can’t set it up easily and you can’t use the power while plugged in but it’s totally a camper!!!

I have this problem, but width only, not overall size.

I just wear men’s shoes, and even those are wicked hard to find. There isn’t really a category of shoes for my size (not big enough overall for drag shoes to be right, but far too wide for normally sized women’s shoes - I wear 6-8 [brand dependent] 4EW in men’s) and I’m not willing to spend a fortune on shoes to have cute custom ones made, so men’s shoes and sandals are my options. Boring.

No. I appreciate the thought but I feel like most of the people working those places have never smelled the specific and very particular scent I’m looking for, and throwing shit at the wall to see what’s close isn’t a solution because my brain will trick me but it won’t work the way I hope.

It’s one of those lost memories, I think, like when you want the same game experience but aren’t the same person so super Mario 1 is just really hard instead of being fun…?

I like the smell of jergins shampoo from like 30 years ago. My mom, who died when I was 23, used it when I was growing up, and I haven’t smelled it in literally decades, but I’d know it if I smelled it again, because it’s impossible to mistake for anything else, but you try really hard to figure out what the smell is. Pretty sure it died in the early 2000s (apparently it’s still available but I have no hope it smells the same, because I haven’t had a whiff in so long… last time was on a bus around 2002)

It had a very unique… tangy? smell that wasn’t floral or fruity or musky or anything. It was just its own very specific smell. Probably all man made chemicals. But it contains volumes of memories.

Interestingly, I still don’t like her perfume (dune from like 1990-2004). I have 2 bottles of it, and I find it very unappealing. It smells like her, sure, but I don’t like it. I sniff the bottle every now and then, for memories. But they are adult memories. The jergins is childhood memories.

If anyone has a really old bottle of jergins floating around, I’d pay money for it…

Just don’t be a woman on Lemmy.

Sure, most people won’t downvote or harass you just for being a woman (a lot will… we didn’t get the best of Reddit at all, and I doubt the new adoptees are any better…) but they will often enough make things difficult even if they aren’t actively causing problems.

But men of Lemmy (aka the vast majority of the user base since they ran off all the womenfolk) don’t care. They see that as quality control or some dumb shit, because THEY aren’t interested in woman things, so nobody should be, or they think their “as a man” comments should be important or some shit… Whatever the post is about. If it doesn’t cater to them, it can fuck right off.

Which is why cis women make up <10% of the Lemmy side of the fediverse. It’s a disaster for women here.

But I wonder how long you’ve been here. Most of the posts of this nature are from very new accounts and they don’t know the problems yet…

Definitely the pissed one. It costs next to nothing to farm any particular platform via bots, so why not go for anything that might have niche demographics? Destabalizing leftist groups seems to be sort of a goal of certain other groups these days so…