Take your upvote, you horrible bastard!

My dad once picked up a beautiful hitchhiker. In the course of the drive she claimed to be a witch who could turn him into anything she wanted. My father, being very skeptical, asked her to prove it. She whispered some magic words in his ear and, sure enough, he turned into a motel.

Seth who now?

cough

Stationery.

cough

TAKE YOUR DAMNED UPVOTE YOU HATEFUL BASTARD!

I must confess to requiring assistance here.