I brought down all my department’s services to take a day off and blame it on Amazon. Next year when negotiating a raise/budget increase, I’ll point to this incident and take credit for migrating us off AWS after six months of in-person training classes (either in places I haven’t visited or would like to see again) and another six months of hard work in the office (napping in the server room).

2026 is looking pretty good already and I definitely won’t regret tempting fate by saying that.

They can bukkake him with ribbons and medals until he looks like a North Korean general, guy is still a corrupt braindead pedo and deserves no respect. I won’t complain about him supporting Ukraine to push (what’s left of) the Russians back to Russia though.

Uninstall malware. Problem solved.

Yes.

Guess you’ll have to leak secret military documents the old-fashioned way: posting them on the War Thunder forums.

You should take fewer showers.

Don’t you know it spore manners to come in hot with language like that?

I see 7 comments on one and 6 on the other. Are you seeing 0 or just fewer than you remember?

Amanita minute to recover from this one.

https://lemmy.world/post/15140002 (https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/19871352 on your instance) perhaps? https://robbb.in/shady/ is one that works currently but the one I used to prefer (before it went down) was shadyurl.com.

https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/16195568 Another possible post.

There have been some interesting DEFCON talks on the subject.

DEFCON 19: And That’s How I Lost My Eye: Exploring Emergency Data Destruction (w speaker) / Invidious: Nadeko or instance selection

DEF CON 23 - Zoz - And That’s How I Lost My Other Eye…Explorations in Data Destruction (Fixed) / Invidious: Nadeko or instance selection

Some of the Invidious instances are busted due to recent changes but Nadeko seems to be working for now.

That’s reserved for if they make it past the first three levels of security. EASY and pals are #2.

EASY does it: Experimental Autonomous Securitybot, Yellow.

…mines at the back of the garage…

Holy shit, you are serious about your physical security!

All charges were dismissed when the defense pointed out that these logs weren’t even the right kind for dam-building. The prosecution’s theory didn’t hold water.

Throw on a Richard Nixon mask first, it’ll look more real than he ever did.

#1-5: Power-wash her uvula with OC spray. Can’t promise it’ll improve things but it’ll be hilarious.

I choose to imagine that these offenses result in developers cooling their heels in the slammer rather than a browser being a picky eater.

Could bring that up with the devs but it hasn’t been the early 2000s for a long time, nobody seems to care as long as it works.

No, it’s pretty atypical. There’s Walmart (as you mention) and a few others but more often, somebody stationed at an entrance/exit is security, a receipt checker (less common), or a cart-wrangler.

Sounds like you met one of our distressingly many entitled weirdos. Sorry about that.