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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 16th, 2023

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  • BMI is correct for about 80% of people. The biggest problem is for people that are very tall, as you are 2 standard deviations from average height it works less well. The muscular argument is a fairly weak one, as the extra weight even as muscle can still be bad for your skeleton (and many that say they are muscular aren’t 2+ standard deviations from average).

    I’m slightly shorter than you, but the best I ever felt was when my BMI was on the edge of normal and overweight.


  • There are things you have to be prepared for and you will snap at each other at least once, your life will change and there are good and bad things about it. There are a lot of things you can do to help. Most things come down to proper planning and sticking to a rigid schedule for baby while being flexible about what each parent does. As a father be prepared to do 99% of of household things like cooking, shopping, cleaning, and laundry for about the first month.

    • start sleep training early, like week 2 or 3. The earlier you start establishing a schedule the faster it works. Things get vastly easier if they sleep alone through even part of the night.
    • get mom in post partum therapy right away, it’s more of a when not an if that she will experience some. Most experience mild symptoms, but a mom that gets even more fatigued and snippy makes everything more difficult.
    • your free time will drastically reduce, this can be a big source of problems. Especially in the first few months. You can still do things, and you occasionally should, leaving the house is good for everyone, just be flexible with it. Also find something you can do in short bursts for relaxation.






  • Get some hobbies that involve leaving the house regularly and preferably other people. The more alone you are the more times per week you should try to book things, but start with one day a week. Lots of sports leagues start around now, it might be to late to join a team, but you could be a sub. Maybe you have a local shop that has a board game night, or there’s always Friday night magic. Find a local bar that does trivia and get some of your friends to make a team. See if there’s a local maker space you could join. There could be some running or biking groups. Another option is finding a church, it has a lot more baggage, but it can provide a strong social group. There’s lots of volunteer groups, probably at least one in your area that could be a good opportunity. Find somewhere to do a hobby you normally do at home, find a stitch and bitch or a book club.

    It sounds like you have some level of depression. It may or may not require therapy or drugs. It could be too much social media. Either way real in person interaction is generally good for you, even introverts.