And yet I can drink a soda and somehow not throw the bottle onto the ground. I’m a fucking hero.

Maybe just carry a tin for your butts since it’s not exactly a surprise that you have them.

“We tried to do a thing but it was hard so we did half a thing.” - Democrats

“We tried to do a thing but it was hard so we’re giving up. Enjoy high grocery prices” - Trump

Almost the same, but not quite.

Having a diagnosis doesn’t excuse their actions. At best it explains them.