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Cake day: February 20th, 2026

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  • $615,384.62, but likely low all things considered.

    The Catholic Church is worth >= $73 billion USD, so this payout was (rounding up) 1.1% of total wealth. On the road now but I’ll add some more to this comment later today.

    Edit: Some edits to the above. Didn’t really account for lawyer fees, so subtracting 33% (low end estimate) I’d get $430,769.23. Still a pretty substantial payout, but them lawyers do be taking a sizable chunk.

    Kinda hard to gauge the economic cost of sexual assault, but from some US workplace stats in 2024 it looks like:

    • average loss per workplace injury: $1,120
    • average loss per medically consulted injury: $48,000
    • average loss per death: $1,540,000

    Note that deaths include lost future wages too, over a much larger timeframe than non-fatal injuries.

    So adolescent sexual assault slots in between medical injuries and deaths, but roughly 9 times as financially devastating as a physical injury. Also somewhat crazy that the original ask by the claimants was $2B, which would have been 70% of a death’s payout per victim.