Hey there, I was wondering if this is normal or if anyone can relate to this.
I 20/male was born in Germany and lived my whole life here but since I was a child I was fascinated with America, grew up consuming all the media from there and always wanted to live there.
I always had the feeling that I’m misplaced and don’t belong where I’m from. I was always searching for the place where I feel like I belong and can better relate to people but never found it.
I always have this inner conflict of not knowing where I truly belong and what’s better for me/where I will be truly happy and feel more “home”.
For example I always wanted to go to America cause I thought it was way better and more advanced than Germany especially when it comes to consumerism. I grew up eating most of my meals at McDonald’s and was in love with the American chains and brands. The bigness, space, “freedom” and variety of places, stores, cultures and nature was always appealing to me. And I also prefer the English language and the social interactions. It feels like a deep dream having a road trip in America in a pickup truck while listening to country music with others, going to a shooting range and so on.
But then I’m conflicted if the culture is maybe dominantly shaped by consumerism and wonder if that is really good and truly makes me happy/gives me what I need. I wonder if it actually has stronger hustle culture and am unsure if that might take away from the connection with people and nature and might only make my deep void inside me bigger. Maybe it’s more artificial in the US and I might find more meaning/connection grounded in German society that might focus more on embracing an organic/open/recreational life that’s more connected to people and nature and less on individualism, materialism and work. But maybe it’s the exact opposite. I don’t even know if artificiality or organicality will make me more happy.
Because in Germany I really despise the directness and people being overly specific. Maybe that is mainly only with older generations though and I might not have this with people my age.
Never having lived in the US makes it very hard for me to know what the reality would be and what place would make me happier. Maybe anyone here has experience with both countries or maybe has experience with completely different countries/situations but that relates to this topic. In the end of the day this probably is more wishful/fantasy thinking than anything and I probably never get my butt anywhere else but I thought I at least keep dreaming and speak what’s on my heart.
I would also appreciate it if you could recommend me other communities that are maybe more fitting where I can post this.
That’s a very interesting topic that you had bigger differences within the US. I wonder how great environments between the countries differ and what the different nuances are. I used to mostly dislike the old buildings and castles in Germany (or in Europe in general) and thought they were depressing. But I seem to have a deeper connection to that (maybe because I grew up in this environment) and my dreams are often in this European/Harry Potter-style environment. I guess my subconscious can’t quite envision an American environment cause I’ve never been in one.
So in my dreams I’m often surrounded by a city with stone buildings and large walkable pedestrian areas that actually feel very warm and wholesome (even though it’s not quite the same irl). And sometimes it’s more rural places in large open spots with a bunch of people having fun (unfortunately that’s also not quite how life is really like, it’s more special in my dreams).
I wonder what environments Americans dream of like maybe more like large roads or suburban type environments. Maybe more rural/warm nature type environments. (I guess it also heavily depends where you are from like city vs rural)
It’s like I may have the longing for both America and Europe.
Here I am, as an American, dreaming of smaller roads and walkable cities.
Grass is always greener, maybe.
That is definitely the dream
It’s a bit like us going: “i love how people in the US live close to a central park, above a coffee shop, in a big appartment, with a bunch of friends, on a bartenders wage”.
The romanticized vision of EU comes from disneyland-esque tourist destinations (which are lovely!), and romcoms, I think. You’re dreaming about a good holiday :). Day-to-day life, ofcourse, differs. (1)
Montréal :)