There’s some merit to this idea in general, but it begs the question: who are you? It can be argued that the ‘real’ you is a set of behaviours developed through your upbringing, education and social history to date. That might carry with it some unpleasant or maladaptive behaviours that, on the one hand, you may want to reject as not being the ‘real’ you, or if taking a tack of self-acceptance without thorough self-reflection, part of the ‘real’ you that you can and should change but which now seem like immutable traits.
Some time should be spent on figuring out what the ‘ideal’ you is - for no one other than yourself - to bring that closer into the field of being the ‘real’ you, then suss out which elements don’t fit from that ideal vision. It should also be noted that the ‘real’ you, despite maybe being based in some pillars that are resistant to this, can change over time - and that can be OK.
Signed: Guy who twisted himself into pretzel over the last decade and a bit, and is tasked with figuring out this whole ‘real you’ thing again. Only core pillar I’m not questioning is “Kindness is key”, though with new modifier “but you must protect yourself from those who have no appreciation of it, and be able to read and acknowledge those signs from flatterers and other folks who benefit unfairly”.
I don’t think it needs to be that complicated. The point is just don’t be disingenuous. It’s like when someone says “don’t lie.” That doesn’t mean you have to say everything on your mind - it just means don’t say something that isn’t true.
I see your point, but I still think a little thinking about what the ‘real you’ actually is is still warranted for the OP statement to work its fullest benefit. Sometimes it can be hard to suss out what’s actually ‘real’ or what was simply adaptation to specific circumstances to present a certain facade that was useful then, but harmful now. We humans are great at lying to ourselves so often it starts to feel like truth.
But agreed - don’t intentionally be disingenuous when engaging with others, because you’ll likely need to keep that up to keep them in your circle, and at some point the dissonance will bite you in the ass.
There’s some merit to this idea in general, but it begs the question: who are you? It can be argued that the ‘real’ you is a set of behaviours developed through your upbringing, education and social history to date. That might carry with it some unpleasant or maladaptive behaviours that, on the one hand, you may want to reject as not being the ‘real’ you, or if taking a tack of self-acceptance without thorough self-reflection, part of the ‘real’ you that you can and should change but which now seem like immutable traits.
Some time should be spent on figuring out what the ‘ideal’ you is - for no one other than yourself - to bring that closer into the field of being the ‘real’ you, then suss out which elements don’t fit from that ideal vision. It should also be noted that the ‘real’ you, despite maybe being based in some pillars that are resistant to this, can change over time - and that can be OK.
Signed: Guy who twisted himself into pretzel over the last decade and a bit, and is tasked with figuring out this whole ‘real you’ thing again. Only core pillar I’m not questioning is “Kindness is key”, though with new modifier “but you must protect yourself from those who have no appreciation of it, and be able to read and acknowledge those signs from flatterers and other folks who benefit unfairly”.
I don’t think it needs to be that complicated. The point is just don’t be disingenuous. It’s like when someone says “don’t lie.” That doesn’t mean you have to say everything on your mind - it just means don’t say something that isn’t true.
I see your point, but I still think a little thinking about what the ‘real you’ actually is is still warranted for the OP statement to work its fullest benefit. Sometimes it can be hard to suss out what’s actually ‘real’ or what was simply adaptation to specific circumstances to present a certain facade that was useful then, but harmful now. We humans are great at lying to ourselves so often it starts to feel like truth.
But agreed - don’t intentionally be disingenuous when engaging with others, because you’ll likely need to keep that up to keep them in your circle, and at some point the dissonance will bite you in the ass.