I don’t have very detailed recollection of events, I remember like the equivalent of a one paragraph summary for entire events that should have like 5 pages of detail. I feel like I’m missing parts of me. Brains sucks so much when it comes to storage capacity.
I had about 20 journals I kept from when I was a teen. I grew up, pretty terribly with severe abuse, and the memories in them were my traumas. I kept them though. Toted them along with me for a long time.
In my early 30s I went through it, and got rid of some of the darkest stuff, but kept some. The remainder went up in a fire about 4 years ago. I was sad, but it was time to let go. Felt good to ditch the bin full of trauma. I felt like I’ve mostly healed
Today I can easily sum up youth in a paragraph, and I’m okay with that.
I apparently have blocked out most of my childhood and teen years. Part of me is glad for that, but sometimes it makes me feel like I’m making up the memories I do have. My mom certainly claims none of the abuse ever happened. Having journals, even just to read once and then burn, would help me feel less crazy.
I definitely can understand that. If it’s important to you, you could start writing what you remember today. My parents also seem to forget the pain they caused, too coward to face it I think, so they forget it and hit denial.
You’re still you with or without the written memory though. Our working memory is the best we have. Electronically, or written on paper, both forms can be lost. Our memories once, well, coded? into our minds, can never be taken, who we are, can never be taken.
I’m certain there are things/events I’ve forgotten. It’s like seeing an old photo with a shirt you liked, and wondering, wherever they hell did that shirt go? Perchance if you don’t remember some of your childhood, and would like to, you could even simply write your questions? Maybe working your mind this way could open lost memory.