When I was a teenager, I went to church, and almost every ‘Christian’ there was a complete asshole. What makes it worse is that they try to justify it. This honestly made me think that if God and Satan were real, I’d want to know Lucifer’s story. Maybe he’s not actually ‘evil.’
Look into Gnosticism. Eventually what got me interested in Luciferianism.
I wish I’d started with the parent religion, but aspects of gnosticism and hermeticism actually prepared me to begin to understand it, lol. It’s a new journey.