Dunno how else to call it. Got me a job. It’s not a bad job. I like the work I do, I tolerate the people there, the hours are not long, it’s unionised so they can’t harrass me when I’m off the clock, it pays the bills I got.
… But god damn. Once I’m home I lack the drive to do literally anything.
I’ve stopped going to gym, I often eat junk cuz I just don’t wanna cook, even my hobbies are being left to gather dust. After working my 9-to-5 I just wanna lie down and rot until it’s work time again.
So the question is, how do the better-adjusted adults handle this?
The reason you hate it is because you expect to hate it, because you are “forced” to do it. Self-fulfilling prophesy. Sure, endorphins are good - but because you are priming yourself to hate exercise, even if you generate them your brain will avoid interpreting their existance as a “good” feeling.
It is possible to learn to love exercising. It’s easy, actually, since exercise is fundamental to human health, so the body is primed to reward you for doing it. But you will probably find it difficult, since not only do you hate exercise, but you like hating exercise. I don’t wanna psychoanalyze you too much - but based on this comment, it is pretty clear that hating exercise is something of an identity for you. I have all sorts of tips and tricks for learning to enjoy exercise (which really boil down to “make it easy, fun, and social”) - but they all fall flat if you are simply determined to hate it because that is what makes your ego feel safe.
Golly gee, you’re telling me that the reason I dislike the shitty activity that sucks and make me feel terrible is only because I’m forced to do the shitty activity that sucks and makes me feel terrible? You’re saying that if I trick my brain into thinking that the shitty activity that sucks and makes me feel terrible somehow isn’t shitty, doesn’t suck, and doesn’t make me feel terrible; I’ll somehow believe it? Sorry, my brain doesn’t work like that. It tends to reject blatant fucking lies, especially when they come from myself.
I’m sure there are people who practice self-flangellation that have convinced themselves that they like it. Doesn’t make it any less of a stupid activity that anyone with sense would recognize is fucking awful.