Heya! I’ve had to come home from work because I’m too run down with some kind of flu.
I’m going mad. I can’t work out, can’t go for a run. I can’t focus on any freelance work. I don’t have the energy to paint or record anything. I’ve just about got the energy to vacillate between my desk and my bedroom, but it’s driving me nuts being so unproductive. I’m on a losing streak in online chess.
I’ve already eaten way past my maintenance calories. My hoover doesn’t work so good else I’d be hoovering the apartment. I’ve done laundry and the dishes. I need a productive, non-thinky, preferably arty, low effort task.
So, what do you lot do when you can’t do anything? When you’re sick, run down, out of energy, or just having a day of paralyzing executive dysfunction – how do you get through it without driving yourself up the god damn wall?
This reminds me.
When I was a kid, it wouldn’t matter if I was sick or not, I had to go to school anyways… because “I’m just finding excuses to not go to school”
Hmm I wonder why Covid spread so fast?
Maybe because some mom in Wuhan behaved like my mom and decided to tell their kids to go to school despite being sick?
Oh yea when I had covid, I was trying to like compose a poem or something idk… I couldn’t even do anything… I was so fucking sick…
I think that was the last time my mother actually showed that she cared about me… but its mixed with the “its your fault for… blah blah… something”
No mom, you told me you regretted giving birth to me a few month earlier which is why I got suicidal and skipped the 2nd dose of the vaccine on purpose, and I even wished I never got the first dose, because I was just so fucking sucidal… so yes maybe my fault, but you made me suicidal in the first place.
I kinda wanna die, but wasn’t brave enough to attempt it. So trying to get sick from covid was a way to kinda “self harm” and see if anyone cares. I was so fucking desparate, I never got enough maternal love, I still have issues to this day.
/rant