I overhead the livingroom conversation and its annoying af.
“Why are you so fat, lose some weight. This is why get no girls”
“Why are you working such a shitty job, didn’t you go to college for 5 years? Did you ever get a diploma or are you this stupid?” (referring to the fact that the internship requirements weren’t fullfilled so no diploma was issued at first)
“You need to [爭氣]¹, stop being such a loser”
(¹爭氣 Antonym of 不爭氣 meaning: disappointing; failing to live up to expectations; so basically something like: “strive for more in life?”)
These are directed at my older brother, so then he gets insecure and starts be like: what about [him]? (he’s referring to me) so then he starts insulting me…
like dude wtf I didn’t yell at you, the fuck you targeting me for?
Then here’s the kicker: later my mom would also go say a lot of similar stuff, but directed at me instead and when my older brother is not listening to it, and from my older brother’s pov, he views himself as if he’s being unfairly mistreated and so he’s then hates me because of that, even thought I don’t exactly get any special treatment, I’m 5 years younger btw.
So like both my mom and brother would say a lot of shit to me and like bruhhh…
So… just your average Asian American household… 🙃
I feel like one of these days we’re gonna end up murdering each other then she’s gonna end up childless lmao… wonder if she’ll even feel shame for getting her children to murder each other. (okay kidding, don’t think murder is happening yet, but it does feel quite scary when the yellings erupt)
I know a lot of westerners here are gonna be like “go no contact”, but like honestly if Asians all followed the western standards, I bet like 80% of “boomer” Asian parents are gonna have estranged kids, this is just the norm.
Do you think like because the “overtion window” of parenting is different, that maybe sometimes you just have to accept that this shit happens, or should I just like embrace western culture and beome a “banana” (Asian on the outside, Westernized on the inside)?
Sorry if my thoughts make no sense, kinda just thinking aloud.
LMAO I think you’re mistaken
We are not the same
He is even more abusive to me than my mom was ever abusive to me… even though I’d say the root cause of his psycopathy is probably caused by my parents.
I literally had to run away from home when I was 6 and I was just crying and literally went to my mom’s workplace, in that moment, I was just scared and I wanted mom to protect me from my abusive older brother who was chasing me around the apartment.
Yes I know, its so weird that my mom is my best protector and also my abuser, and plays a different role depending on situation.
This is why we have such a strong trauma bond. She can be lovely when she’s not in the “tiger mom” “alter ego”
So really I love the “lovely mother” “alter ego” of my mom who she used to be like 50% of the time, but like recently, she’s just going “tiger mom” like 80% of the time.
I’m pretty sure my mom doesn’t even see any abuse, in her view: she’s just “disciplining” us and my brother fighting me is just “sibling just do that, it’s no big deal”
I see you around a lot, and I went through some pretty severe abuse from my family too… Siblings not withstanding.
I hope you can get away from them someday soon.
You deserve peace