As a white woman who has never voted for Trump, I tend to lean on these guys being leopards ate my face by default. They’ve so internalized patriarchy, trad wives make sense to them, as does Christian nationalism and such. I really don’t know how to understand it otherwise.

It’s like shooting yourself in the foot, smiling, nodding that everything is alright, while resolutely denying the gunshot wound or that you may be bleeding out. Habit, maybe.

I did meet one woman whose family gaslit her every time she stepped off the path they’d chosen for her. Even moving elsewhere was damn near forbidden. The idea of them not liking her freaked her out to the point of severe anxiety and had her truly believing she was the problem. I tried to discuss it with her, while she was crying, because of them (parents and siblings and 1 cousin), again, but it galvanized her into defensiveness, and rigidly striding for that path again lest she “lose her family”. That was 2 decades ago. The conversation feels like a kick in the head, regarding some understanding, even now.

“You could leave.” Was the triggering comment.