Got drunk on Valentine’s day probably 15ish years ago, cuz I was feeling lonely. I was of course young and horny trying to think of any last minute way to hang out with a couple girls that didn’t come off desperate (lol) when my fucking boss texts me. Mind you, I had been drinking and eating junk food for a good chunk of the day like a depressed bum and I definitely wasn’t going into work.
Long story shorter, she was having relationship issues, found out her bf had cheated on her, etc, and she was trying to get me to cover some hours so she wouldn’t have to go in. As we’re talking and she trying to convince me to work, I convinced her to cover and I’d sober up and clean up and we’d go do anything she wanted to get her mind off of it.
When we met up I blurted out “how fuckable” she looked. I’m my mind I was just trying to give a big compliment knowing how upset and emotional she was, so brain said “go all out” and apparently that’s what I came up with. She blushed and it was super awkward as we got ice cream. Now, she IS actually attractive and in the back of my mind I always sort of had that boss fantasy, but clearly she’s not in a good mental state so I did NOT initiate the next part out of just respect for her and also I didn’t want to get fired. She says she wanted to leave, she’s sick of crying and being emotional in public so I took it as she vented and cleared her mind and I’d see her the next day. I start to take her back to get her car and she says she wanted to stay at a hotel that night cuz she didn’t want to be home when her bf got home. Makes sense. Shit’s now awkward for them.
Remember, I’m still horny from earlier in the day and after hearing about the bf I kind of don’t hate the idea of making out or fooling around, so I said I’d keep her company and we’d could watch movies as late as we could stay awake.
Yes finally, the fuck up. We’re cuddling on the bed, no change of clothes so still dressed up, and we’re watching some romcom when it hits me: I’ve gotta take a gnarly horrific shit from all the garbage I’ve ate all day!!! Noooo!!! Stomach a little queezy, but I muscle on through it. She asks if we could have a couple drinks and I agree. I figure the faster she falls sleep the faster I’m going home to poop. Well, we start getting really cozy, flirty,handsy, and clothes come off making out, and dude her fucking body was way way better than I ever expected. I’m full blown horny again, and a little bubbly gut but I want to see this through god damn it!! What I thought was this quiet prude boss was hiding an amazing figure, so I must proceed lol. She was the full package! Great personality, sense of humor, smart, attractive. I was fully into her! I hadn’t really got to know her until that night. Plus, usually I’ve got some time from initial discomfort to when I need to go, so I push on.
We’re completely naked under the sheets at this point and I’m going down on her (gotta give her a good night) so my butts kind of up in the air, and I feel something close to my b hole almost creep out. I’M NOT TRUSTING A FART or anything remotely resembling so I clinch even harder and keep going. I move up to do the deed and this time I STRAIGHT UP PANIC and sort of jerked my body bc the next gurgle in my stomach nearly breached my asshole. You can’t “prairie dog” liquid. I IMMEDIATELY excuse myself flying off the bed and completely obliterated the toilet-like, Dumb and Dumber level noise which she can clearly hear in the tiny hotel room. Those fucking fans are never loud enough to cover sound nor ventilate enough air if you catch my drift.
After about 15 minutes, some of ‘still going’ and some waiting for the smell to clear, she texts me asking if I’m alright.I told her I was fine but must’ve been the ice cream mixing with the alcohol in my system curdling the dairy or something. I knew that was some bs cuz what I ate earlier. But I then told her I was going to shower and then leave. DUDE, so embarrassing about needing a shower, thankfully I didn’t get any on the bed or carpet!!! That also bought me time to clear the air. Again, also extremely thankful is a hotel so I didn’t mind using a bunch of TP to clean, plus soap and shampoo.
Not all is lost either, she blamed herself for the ice cream bit which made me fell awful so I confessed and told her it was all on me. She still asked me to cuddle so she could sleep easier. We did pick up where we left off in the morning, but we never spoke of it again nor did anything else fun occur either.
Got drunk on Valentine’s day probably 15ish years ago, cuz I was feeling lonely. I was of course young and horny trying to think of any last minute way to hang out with a couple girls that didn’t come off desperate (lol) when my fucking boss texts me. Mind you, I had been drinking and eating junk food for a good chunk of the day like a depressed bum and I definitely wasn’t going into work.
Long story shorter, she was having relationship issues, found out her bf had cheated on her, etc, and she was trying to get me to cover some hours so she wouldn’t have to go in. As we’re talking and she trying to convince me to work, I convinced her to cover and I’d sober up and clean up and we’d go do anything she wanted to get her mind off of it.
When we met up I blurted out “how fuckable” she looked. I’m my mind I was just trying to give a big compliment knowing how upset and emotional she was, so brain said “go all out” and apparently that’s what I came up with. She blushed and it was super awkward as we got ice cream. Now, she IS actually attractive and in the back of my mind I always sort of had that boss fantasy, but clearly she’s not in a good mental state so I did NOT initiate the next part out of just respect for her and also I didn’t want to get fired. She says she wanted to leave, she’s sick of crying and being emotional in public so I took it as she vented and cleared her mind and I’d see her the next day. I start to take her back to get her car and she says she wanted to stay at a hotel that night cuz she didn’t want to be home when her bf got home. Makes sense. Shit’s now awkward for them.
Remember, I’m still horny from earlier in the day and after hearing about the bf I kind of don’t hate the idea of making out or fooling around, so I said I’d keep her company and we’d could watch movies as late as we could stay awake.
Yes finally, the fuck up. We’re cuddling on the bed, no change of clothes so still dressed up, and we’re watching some romcom when it hits me: I’ve gotta take a gnarly horrific shit from all the garbage I’ve ate all day!!! Noooo!!! Stomach a little queezy, but I muscle on through it. She asks if we could have a couple drinks and I agree. I figure the faster she falls sleep the faster I’m going home to poop. Well, we start getting really cozy, flirty,handsy, and clothes come off making out, and dude her fucking body was way way better than I ever expected. I’m full blown horny again, and a little bubbly gut but I want to see this through god damn it!! What I thought was this quiet prude boss was hiding an amazing figure, so I must proceed lol. She was the full package! Great personality, sense of humor, smart, attractive. I was fully into her! I hadn’t really got to know her until that night. Plus, usually I’ve got some time from initial discomfort to when I need to go, so I push on.
We’re completely naked under the sheets at this point and I’m going down on her (gotta give her a good night) so my butts kind of up in the air, and I feel something close to my b hole almost creep out. I’M NOT TRUSTING A FART or anything remotely resembling so I clinch even harder and keep going. I move up to do the deed and this time I STRAIGHT UP PANIC and sort of jerked my body bc the next gurgle in my stomach nearly breached my asshole. You can’t “prairie dog” liquid. I IMMEDIATELY excuse myself flying off the bed and completely obliterated the toilet-like, Dumb and Dumber level noise which she can clearly hear in the tiny hotel room. Those fucking fans are never loud enough to cover sound nor ventilate enough air if you catch my drift.
After about 15 minutes, some of ‘still going’ and some waiting for the smell to clear, she texts me asking if I’m alright.I told her I was fine but must’ve been the ice cream mixing with the alcohol in my system curdling the dairy or something. I knew that was some bs cuz what I ate earlier. But I then told her I was going to shower and then leave. DUDE, so embarrassing about needing a shower, thankfully I didn’t get any on the bed or carpet!!! That also bought me time to clear the air. Again, also extremely thankful is a hotel so I didn’t mind using a bunch of TP to clean, plus soap and shampoo.
Not all is lost either, she blamed herself for the ice cream bit which made me fell awful so I confessed and told her it was all on me. She still asked me to cuddle so she could sleep easier. We did pick up where we left off in the morning, but we never spoke of it again nor did anything else fun occur either.