Ok I have an idea. I’m all for giving people the option of assisted suicide, but it’s just way too medical and boring! I want something with pizazz!
I have a better idea. The US government has been dying to get back into nuclear testing. I say, let’s kill two birds with one atomic bomb! We designate a site out in the Nevada desert somewhere. Then, once a year, anyone who qualifies for assisted suicide gathers there. You have all the regular safeguards existing assisted suicide processes have. Everyone there first says goodbye to their families. Then they walk through the gate, present their ticket, and take a bus to ground zero.
They arrive at dawn. Through the day they have access to every illegal drug one can imagine. Finally at the end of the day, at sundown, a great countdown is held. As the last light of their last day winks out, a second sunrise blooms across the desert. And everyone present goes out in the most epic way imaginable - high out of their minds and instantly vaporized under the light of a thousand suns.
Forget doing this in a hospital or hospice and being given some nasty poison to drink. I want to go out at ground zero of a nuclear explosion! Just put me close enough to the center so I actually get vaporized, not one of those unlucky ones that just gets their skin burned off and has to die painfully over several hours or days.
Cute. But my inner engineer and scientist needs to point out that at these temperatures, “burning” doesn’t really apply. At these heat fluxes, you don’t so much combust as simply stop being chemistry and start being physics.
That’s the appeal of it. It’s literally the most painless way possible to go out. Your brain has been turned to plasma before pain signals even have a chance to reach it.
Ok I have an idea. I’m all for giving people the option of assisted suicide, but it’s just way too medical and boring! I want something with pizazz!
I have a better idea. The US government has been dying to get back into nuclear testing. I say, let’s kill two birds with one atomic bomb! We designate a site out in the Nevada desert somewhere. Then, once a year, anyone who qualifies for assisted suicide gathers there. You have all the regular safeguards existing assisted suicide processes have. Everyone there first says goodbye to their families. Then they walk through the gate, present their ticket, and take a bus to ground zero.
They arrive at dawn. Through the day they have access to every illegal drug one can imagine. Finally at the end of the day, at sundown, a great countdown is held. As the last light of their last day winks out, a second sunrise blooms across the desert. And everyone present goes out in the most epic way imaginable - high out of their minds and instantly vaporized under the light of a thousand suns.
Forget doing this in a hospital or hospice and being given some nasty poison to drink. I want to go out at ground zero of a nuclear explosion! Just put me close enough to the center so I actually get vaporized, not one of those unlucky ones that just gets their skin burned off and has to die painfully over several hours or days.
We’ll call it … burning… man ?
Cute. But my inner engineer and scientist needs to point out that at these temperatures, “burning” doesn’t really apply. At these heat fluxes, you don’t so much combust as simply stop being chemistry and start being physics.
That’s the appeal of it. It’s literally the most painless way possible to go out. Your brain has been turned to plasma before pain signals even have a chance to reach it.
A little on the nose, eh?
Ha, pretty good option. I wouldn’t get a ticket. But, seems reasonable.
I’ll be outside, in a recliner, fire pit going. My friends all around.
I’d sip some of this & that. Eat my favs. And have both music and “MASH” playing until I fade away.