Here’s how this thread works: You add any “common sense” information or advice that anyone and everyone should know. If your first-level comment on this thread does not meet this criteria, I will remove it. Any replies to that comment will be for discussion of the topic referenced in that comment.
Have fun!
One piece of advice I would give anyone asking is to go easy on yourself, and always start easy with a partner.
Death grip is a thing. Once you get used to it, it can be a major job to readapt. Since transitioning from self play to sex with others can be impacted by excessive force, speed, and/or aggressive technique, it’s a really good idea to start one’s self love journey as gently as possible.
This goes for men and women, despite the term death grip originating with male masturbation, and it being more common with men.
See, between the difficulties circumcision and learning how to reach orgasm for men when they’re younger, a lot of guys in particular end up squeezing hard and going very fast. Young women usually lack the extra difficulty that circumcision brings (though the horrors of female circumcision are exactly that: horrors. They just tend to be more than difficulties), but there’s still a learning curve, and the brain/body connection during masturbation tends to make those early orgasms harder to achieve.
That leads to the death grip. A lot of people struggle to achieve orgasms early on, and by having to go hard, end up not only believing they have to, but become adapted to it, and then have difficulty when engaging in sex with a partner. No vagina, mouth, or anus will ever squeeze as hard as a fist, which makes male death grip harder to overcome (imo, and pun intended). It also contributes to bad sex when someone is going harder to chase their own orgasm than what their partners need/want/can handle.
So, that’s why anyone that asks, or anyone that brings up difficulties (I used to be a nurse’s assistant, so I catch a lot of questions other folks don’t lol), I make sure to at least mention death grip and how to avoid it (and how to correct it if that’s useful)
Which brings me back to the start: be as gentle with your junk as you can, no matter what configuration your junk has
I feel like this could be partly caused by porn? The thing of going ‘hard and fast’ being an exaggeration could be lost on many, leading to a wrong approach to sex.
Regardless of level of porn consumption, being too rough with your own genitals risks sexual dysfunction in the future. However, porn adds an additional level of dysfunction in that it creates unrealistic ideas of what sex should look like, which in turn causes a psychological disconnect between that expectation and the reality.
Ive also recently read of something called ‘Dead Vagina Syndrome’ which appears in some vagina-havers or non-males (so yes it cam show up in non-binsry people too) as similar to death grip syndrome as in a pussy-haver has become so used to using harsh force or MASSIVE sex toys on their coochie that it has become more numbed and has difficulty acheiving orgasm or any pleasure during sexual intercouse.
Now, I havent read any studies to confirm this but I am damned sure that female genital mutilation makes this experience harder and more common for some pussy-havers in the world …
Thus proving that intactivism isnt only to prevent male genital mutilation and 'intersex-gender-confirming-mutilation, itshoild also be about preventing female or pussy mutilation too
ALL humans of peaceful will are entitled to an intact genitalia. Thanks for the write up.
Adjacent, but some US states (possibly most or all? I’m unsure) have a program to send free condoms by (discreet) mail. Your state or county may offer similar services like free HIV testing as well. Safe sex is important and there are resources to facilitate it that you may not even know about.
These programs should be a lot more common than they are. Instead we have abstinence-only sex ed.
ya my religious school was very heavy on the abstinence only solution of avoiding teen pregnancy.
We barely learned about circumcision or MGM, and birth control until the last sections of sex ed. Even the sex ed chapter test were only about abstinence only …
