Feelings I had for my classmate were obviously one-sided (pretty sure of it), so I made a reasonable decision to never confess to not make things awkward. In a few years since we graduated I finally moved on, although I never loved anyone this much since.
Yet all this time I had a desire to tell her about them. I would definitely want to know if someone loved me this much ever. Would she? I don’t know. I don’t even know if she is in a relationship right now or not.
I would really want to cite some scientific study that “Over 80% of girls have their self-confidence lifted after being told they were secretly admired (p<0.05)”, but can’t find one.
Other people do not know how you feel. It may well be love. But it may not be worth bringing up to her, she may get the wrong impression like others here. I wish society encouraged honesty, but I don’t know what’s best here.
K but I don’t need to telepathically know how they feel when by their own words I can see that they’re conflating attraction with love.
You seem to want to help OP. But you’re actually reenforcing a very unhealthy mindset. Given your admission that you don’t know what’s best here it is rather irresponsible of you to baselessly undermine the consensus.
Some of the people here are family men who actually do know what we’re talking about. To falsely equate your “I don’t know” with experience driven advice, is a disservice to OP.
Men need to be more honestly with themselves about when they’re just being horny.
In understand and agree with what you are saying all in all but you are being a little too harsh in your tone and maybe also in some assumptions about OP, I think. The best advice comes in a form that is digestible for the recipient… If giving advice is what you are doing and not telling OP off, that is. Anyways, as I said, I agree with you but I just felt your were being almost a little unfair 😌
Read back. I wasn’t harsh until OP responded disingenuously.
As far as this person. I specifically dislike when people play devils advocate while knowing they don’t actually know enough. Especially when they’re reenforcing toxic male behaviours towards women.
The person I’m replying to is genuinely doing harm to OP by feeding into their confirmation bias. Lets not forget I’m telling OP not to do something that could have life changing social consequences… especially if they go about it in the socially inept way they present themselves.
Kindly fuck off with your assumptions. When I was young, I chose not to have children because my parents were unable to raise me without traumatic fear and pain, and I never wanted anyone else to feel that.
I love someone, but we are not together and likely never will be.
Would you be upset if someone told you that you don’t love your wife?
Stop pretending to know things you cannot know. Your experience is not everyone’s.
You? No. My father? yes.
The fact that you think I’m assuming things about your life shows that you’re reacting defensively instead of maturely considering what’s being presented to you.
I am reacting defensively, you attacked OP by pretending to know their mind and confidently asserting you know they are wrong when you can’t possibly know that. It’s a pretty shitty thing to do and it’d be wrong of me not to point that out.
Here’s one for you: you don’t actually love your father, it’s stockholm syndrome. How do I know? It happened to me, therefore it must also be your experience.
Does that feel good?