I have changed my work teams twice now and happened twice now. First I just thought it was one toxic guy who picked up on me and had a knack on finding bully targets. Then, I have changed teams away from this dude and I felt I was surrounded by sane people this time but it happened again. It starts with one person making fun of me and others start to pick it up.
I’m not sure what it is that I’m giving away that I attract bullies so easily. I often put a smile and not make any rude jokes with coworkers. Maybe that’s the reason why?
I’ve observed one more pattern is that they act nice and normal when they’re alone with me but suddenly when we’re in a group, they start behaving in a snarky fashion towards me and find every opportunity to make fun of me. They often steal my ideas & jokes and pose them as their own too, I’m not bothered with it through as long as it doesn’t benefit them in work.
I’m not an idiot either at work that makes them think I’d be an easy target. I often do my job very well and stay up with every metric. They don’t seem to like it or try to downplay me whenever I’m in a spotlight.
I’ll be changing companies soon and I want to try to cut down on any behaviours that make me look like the doormat that I am. Any tips on how to make others respect me more? Thanks.
We need more information. What industry? Can you give us concrete examples? Are bosses in on this? What kind of projects? … I’m afraid right now we just don’t have a clear picture of anything.
Your goal sounds good, but I’m wondering if you tried the obvious things: tell them to STFU, and/or of course escalate if they don’t. It might not work, but it might.
I have difficulty in trying those obvious things you have mentioned but I have done them. Once I asked politely to shut up and when they didn’t I just walled away. But this has created a image of me being a sensitive guy with not so fun personality, a cry baby.
I can’t really avoid them at the office and the moment I got chance to move away, I did and I cut them off everywhere.
Coming to bosses, I don’t think they care about these petty issues. Even if I do, this scenario creates two things. Those bullies might plot things against me and talk ill of me everywhere. Good people can’t help but feel pity for me. Workplace becomes hell.
I work in IT sector btw.
In my company, employees are required to report harassment like you describe to HR if they see it. Repeat offenders get dealt with.