Balance requires the desire to achieve it. Keep trying, you’ll get there.

I’m old and I think they’re fucking hilarious. I think what you’re missing is the “be a moron” part.

Beans

The hell with raw doggin life.

I think of it like sunlight. In videos from space, you can see the sun without the filter of our atmosphere. It is the harshest evil white burning light you can imagine. However, because of our delightful atmosphere, we get golden hour evenings, pink sunsets, warm mornings.

Life without pills is like sunlight without atmosphere.

That, also cat and dog. I am the feeder, brusher, vet-taker. Mr. Meowmeow and Ms. Fluffy would be very sad. That won’t do at all.

Press and hold two buttons in each corner. If those don’t work, try the other two. Keep iterating through pressing and holding one button on either side of the screen. Eventually, you will open a diagnostic menu. You can’t do anything here without a passcode, but it will stop the ad.

I’ve only come across a few pumps where I could not figure out the combo before I finished pumping.

I had one of those too. Every so often, bad baby would scoot off the mat it 3am. Nothing like the absolute fucking panic of hearing that alarm going off when you’re dead asleep and now halfway to juniors room before you wake up only to find he scooted off the mat. AGAIN.

I don’t miss the pure anxiety of being a new parent. I had forgotten about that thing and I’m so glad it is a faded memory.