I eat human treats, because I know what species I damn am

Nah I’m talking about flavors that dog treats don’t normally have, like “pumpkin spice” or “eggnog”

Kinda shit you’d expect on something that humans eat. Makes you kinda wonder how dog owners know that their dogs even like those flavors, or that they even taste it in the same way that we do. And I’m not saying that they don’t either, but like why go out of your way to get it? Why assume, you know?? It’s just crazy

I’m not saying that they shouldn’t be edible, I mean if you’re dirt poor and can’t afford food, then it’s definitely better to have something that both you and your dog can eat

But like, dogs don’t have high standards at all, for what they’ll eat. I’ve seen my dog try to go for, fucking like dead birds or rotting veggies. I really don’t think they care if their biscuit tastes like cheesecake or not

Just because dogs want to eat human food doesn’t mean that they should. My dog will rush or beg for any human food, even foods that are bad for her and have too much oil or sodium

What tastes good to dogs can taste nasty to us for perfectly valid reasons. I don’t think anyone’s rushing to try an apple-beef-cucumber-peanut butter (or whatever the fuck they mix into a) biscuit that explicitly isn’t made for humans

Wasn’t me, a ghost moved them!

Ok now sing it

Well we’re on the subject of the GOP, so of course I’ll be focusing on their contradictions. If I gave the democratic party a similar treatment then I’d be writing an essay

Hm ok sing me one

Damn we need more people on Lemmy so we can make a creative writing doodad

Sorry guess again, it’s somewhere in the Middle East

Is what I would say if I was a propaganda machine

I was imagining haunted house to mean more like Haunted™ House like with dusty candelabras and cobwebby spiral staircases and whowhatsthems

Ordinary suburban houses can be haunted too

Because they’re too funny, i.e. Jebediah Townhouse

This is now my headcanon

How should I know? I live in a country where the president drowned a baby and fucked kids

Alright I’ll give you that one

Whoa, cool username!

Usernames that are just a single word, especially that word, are gonna be ultra rare on here one day

Yeah but I meant an ordinary roadway in like, y’know a city full of traffic. Tolls and stoplights, potholes and cops everywhere and whatnot

Not some zoinky one out in the boonies, cuz hauntings there are mega duh

And that’s where we realize that the two party system is hollow and doesn’t actually represent anything other than greed

If the GOP actually stood for tradition, we would go back to single income households

If the GOP actually stood for self-determination, anyone could change their gender on legal documents

If the GOP actually stood for hard work and personal responsibility, taxes would be proportionately higher for the mega rich, and the working class would be getting proper compensation

If the GOP actually stood for the 2nd amendment, Alex Pretti wouldn’t have been shot to death simply for having a gun on his waist

If the GOP actually stood for Christianity, there would be homes for the homeless everywhere

If the GOP actually stood for isolationism, then this country would not be practicing genocidal foreign policy

And if the GOP actually stood for small government, well there wouldn’t be this whole… craziness

Edit: why the booing? If I’m wrong then tell me why you think that