Everytime someone makes some argument against me, talking about some casual debates, or simply talks a bit harsher towards me I always get feeling like I want to cry? Idk why, in most situations I just don’t feel anything, in most normal situations I am simply existing with little to no emotions, sometimes smiling. I don’t really know where to post this, hope this is right place.
It’s kind of like when you get a sunburn, and someone comes up and gives you a slap right on the sunburn. Maybe they meant to, or maybe they didn’t. Either way, it’s going to hurt like hell until your sunburn heals.
One of the many things I’ve learned in my two years of therapy is that we carry our pain and trauma around like a big old sunburn, and more often than not we get slapped by other people not realizing we’re hurting already.
I wish you the best on your journey of healing. It’s never easy, and you’ll often find yourself relapsing. But don’t give up on yourself.
Real life, face-to-face conversations or the internet? Because the tone on the internet especially in public spaces can be a bit rough… But it’s also sometimes difficult to judge with all the non-verbal communication missing.
Both
Hmmh. Maybe I’m not really like that, then. I mean I certainly know how bad a personal attack feels. Or if it’s an (factual) argument against me and one of us is wrong and I either have to face how I’m wrong, or I have to defend something. Or the third option and I’m getting unsure. Neither of those might be great feelings. But I don’t think either of that feels like I want to cry… I mean I don’t want to invalidate your feelings, that’s just how it feels to me. Other than that I try to differentiate between factual arguments and ones on a personal level or about things I hold dear. The first isn’t really a reason to get emotional (in theory). Both other ones are. But I think you somehow have to manage to be somewhat comfortable in the situation, or you don’t have the capacity to do that kind of differentiation.
And unfortunately you kind of need a thick skin in a lot of corners of the internet. I think we all know that. And some of that is unhealthy, so we all need to pay attention to our own wellbeing, but that’s easier said then done.
Yeah, also not just debates like in general whenever someone makes little harsh voice I want to cry
Or… this is just the way you are. And Bruno Mars would like to have a word with you… I don’t think I have any wise words to contribute here. I just feel I should point out this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, unless you yourself think it is… I’m pretty sure it’s a good thing we have feelings and we’re not all exactly the same.
I am kind of like that too, but instead of crying I get angry. It’s because I percieve such things as a personal attack. I’m working on it though.
Yeah, actually I just noticed reason why I am like this is because I always listened other people when being told what to do, for example when my hair was starting to grow mom would say to cut it and I’ll do it even if that wasn’t my plan to do and now I find it hard to express my feelings and whenever someone speaks with little bit harshly I kinda want to cry
My mom is this way. If she feels stuck in a position,or someone’s trying to screw her over, her voice becomes emotional and her eyes get glassy. Then she makes irrational speech options. My rpg character is built different, and not saying it’s better but… I’ve seen it.
Not really.
I have emotions, not afraid to shed some tears or to laugh out loudly whenever I feel like it, while most of the time I consider myself not concerned with whatever is happening around me, either because it really does not concern me or because there is nothing I can do about it.
When exchanging ideas, I’m also 100% fine with people not agreeing with what I say (and I not agreeing with what they say). For me, the ability to disagree is an essential part of living in a really diverse and really free society. Without that, there is no freedom and not real possibility to be different.
That being said, on the rare occasion where us disagreeing goes beyond that, say when someone starts trolling me or start becoming a little bit too ad hominen in their replies instead of focusing on what I said, I quickly block them once and for all: never to be seen or heard again, and immediately wiped out of my mind.
(my) Time is way too precious to waste it with such negative persons (and emotions), knowing there are so many other persons out there that are not as negatives ;)
