Bruh wtf. Peak spiritualism lol.
What’s with people. 4 is bad luck, you can’t talk about death… not even a "does she need additional help (aka: disability)"🤦♂️
Literally my mother was the one that asked me to help [her mother] file the forms, and this is the USA btw. SSA website asks the question, so I ask my mother about it she told me to “not talk ‘nonsense’” in an angry tone.
Lol. Disability is so fucking taboo, you can’t even mention it even if it’s your own family members.
Edit: typo
There are difficult people strewn all throughout society all over the world, you just happen to have a couple in your family. If anyone in my family spoke to me that way, I would definitely throw it back to them and test how far they were willing to take this. “It’s a yes or no question, Grandma. I’m here to walk you through this form so you can get paid, or I can leave and you can do this yourself.”
I don’t wanna ruin relationships tho. Economy is struggling right now, I mean, SNAP is literally being killed right now, so, it stuff goes more downhill, I kinda wanna have a safety net of my parent’s support (they aren’t “rich” but they have assets), so I can’t just burn bridges. Rent is fucking expensive, don’t wanna fuck with that shit, too much to deal with.
wall of text
Plus, this is the same grandmother that agreed to watch over me (and my older brother) as a caretaker basically so my parents can go to work*, which is what allowed me to be born, because my parent almost decided against having me lol.
*at least this is the story my mother told me. According to my mother, my paternal grandparents hated me and didn’t wanna look after me. Grandparents looking after kids is the norm in my culture btw, so this is kinda breaking norms. Accordimg to my mother, usually paternal grandparents are supposed to be closer, but somehow they didn’t care. They love the idea of grandkids but hate actually caring for their grandkids. They just visited like 1 time from the US, then got so pissed that my mother asked them to just watch over us for a few hours. Father did not contest this story (even tho he didn’t like the story being told in front of me), so I assume its true since there is no disagreement over the facts. Then they just went back to NYC and didn’t really visits us much. I mean, I literally have zero memories of my paternal grandparents. I have very vague memories of my maternal grandpa, I vaguely remember riding on the motorcycle around Taishan (no bigs roads to fit a car, also cars are expensive compare to a cheap bike). I remember sometimes visiting my mother’s village in the… summers (I think? not sure when, but probably outside of an active school year).
Didn’t remember much, he dead now and I kinda don’t feel much tbh.
My paternal grandma (paternal, different one) died and I honestly kinda luled. I remember visiting them in their government-subsidized NYC apartment (after my family immigrated to the US), and OMG they were just so awkward af and they were so COLD, idk if they even have emotions. Fucking mitch mcconnell facial expression, so condescending when they talk.
Probably the reason why my mom decided to move away from NYC (NYC also expensive af tbf, you’ll never buy a home there).
So yes, maternal grandma is very annoying, but not as cold as the paternal grandparents. Holy shit, they are like terminators irl. No human expressions at all.
I honestly felt so distant from them, I didn’t even visit paternal grandmother’s funeral in NYC, I ain’t wasting 4 hours total travel time + many more hours at a ceremoney where a bunch of total strangera attend, no lol, not for a person that didn’t care about me when I was a child. I just used that as an excuse to skip the funeral, my mom didn’t even get mad at me xD. She also hated the paternal side of the family. I had depression so I don’t have the energy for that.
American here. Can’t even bring up end-of-life stuff with my Filipino wife as that’s “bad luck”. Knew another white guy my age talking about his divorce and 3 small children.
“Maybe you ought to get life insurance?”
“And leave that bitch anything?!”
“You can name your kids as the sole beneficiaries.”
“Fuck that bitch! The Lord will see me through this!”
Um.
People don’t want to talk about uncomfortable topics. We didn’t evolve to grow this old and know so much about our ancestors. My take anyway.
Well, if not talking about disability is more important to her than getting more money … though she sounds like the type who will just pester you for additional money if she falls short.
Yeaah idk, its late, guess that form is gonna be left to be filled tomorrow… not my stuff, not my problem… like I ask and its bad luck, but what about when the social worker asks, that’s somehow okay?
I guess I’m just gonna start using English then? Maybe its the native language + spiritualism that has that association?
I mean, the English word “four” does not sound similar to 四. Its almost like its instintual, reacting with fear and emotions rather than actual logic. Maybe using English breaks the spitirualism association (is that how brains work?). Or maybe she just hates me and assume everything I say has bad intentions lol.
I assume that is a typo or autocorrect gone awry, and that you actually meant to say “maternal grandmother”.
I’m just imagining the implication that there’s such a thing as an immaterial grandmother too.
Lol, I tend to use phones more often than PC/Keyboard, so… 🤷♂️
Also I tend to not spellcheck when I wanna rant about stuff.
I do that too. Plus I tend to post first and proofread after.
Disabilities, the one group most people will join at some point in their lives either from age or accident but hate thinking about.
Good luck. I hope she gets all the help possible! Disabilities suck. Refusing to accept the reality of them is worse.
