Can communicate with any animal
But they can’t communicate with you
I can teleport instantly to any location I have previously visited.
You don’t get to choose the location, it’s just a random place you’ve been before.
The United States of America after the Cold War.
Immunity from all replies to this post.
You end up with no superpowers at all
Ability to control every atom in the surrounding area of approx 1 km.
You can control only 1 at a time.
Nuclear bombs, or a really good scientist.
1 at a time wouldn’t get you a noticeable amount of energy for a bomb (stuff is radioactively decaying around you already right now). A scientist might make some use of it, but with control of only 1 atom at a time they’ll struggle to build really any molecule as I imagine most intermediate molecules would break apart as soon as you “let go” to grab the next atom.
Depends on what “time” is in case of one at a time. Is it plank time, or is it as fast as I can think the command.
Even if nothing can be achieved by controlling it, just being able to feel/see the atoms means I can figure things out as a scientist. Finding how atoms are arranged into molecules, proteins etc are super helpful
Teleportation
But you lose one of your socks every time you teleport and they’re like really cool unique ones that only work as a pair. Heartbreaking.
Butt stuff is marginally less fun.
Really depends on the butt
crab claw
Only when jorkin it
Reading minds
But you have to start at the beginning.
You have no inhibitive filter, and compulsively blurt out whatever you’re thinking, including whatever the person is thinking when you’re reading their mind.
Switch sexes any time I prefer
… provided you are playing Uno and have a reverse card.
Every time you switch you have to peel off a layer of dead skin line a cocoon.
Depending on the person, this might be a bonus.
Seems like a small payment honestly
Damn that’s harsh. I didn’t expect that, it seems you have some great imagination.
I’m sorry, I don’t make the rules
The ability to change my own superpower.
This one doesn’t really need a monkey’s paw curse since, as written, I’d argue you could only change it once anyway, then you’d be stuck with that power.
Uncontrollable and overwhelming diarrhea whenever you use any of the chosen superpowers, which is immune to any kinds of “and I’m immune to the side effect” types of loophole powers.
Master poet level fluency in all languages
You are now blind and deaf like Helen Keller. Good luck, she figured it out, you’ll be fine.
You can now hardly remember anything else (as happened to me, my memory is full of Chinese vocab with no space for anything else).
Terribly loud non-stop belching
So no new drawbacks, then? Sweet!
The power to talk to women without staring at their feet.
Instead you cannot stop staring at their boobs. And yes, that includes your family, bosses and so on.
deleted by creator
In long-dead languages they can’t understand
Deal. I’m Autistic so that’s barely any different.
you can only speak to them in languages they don’t understand.
Fall asleep at any time and place by will
It is impossible to wake up until you are fully rested, including by alarm, fire, or intruder.
I either wake up rested or not my problem anymore.
You wake up with a severe headache everytime.
This is apparently my superpower and side effect combo.
But when you wake up, you’re in a random spot in the wilderness. Every time.
Being a cat
You make noise every time you walk
Ok, it’s basically like my cat.
I’ll stick with the strongest superpower of them all, I am Cables Never Tangle Man!
But you cannot tie knots anymore. Even worse - every knot you touch magically slips open. Be careful not to trip over your shoelaces!
Velcro has entered the chat…
So many tiny little knots
It’s going to look like a shag rug as soon as they touch it
Your cables break every 3 days
Every time you get an error it is unknown error
