Its hard nowadays. Things that bring me comfort still do but its muted. Hot drink, sleep, hot bath, a walk (especially with my dog). Those rare human connections. Its so much weaker and less long lasting than it used to be though.

• A dog I haven’t seen before (ok let’s be real, any dog) on my walk coming up to sniff me and say hi.
• Holding a door open for an older woman at the grocery store, her smile, and having her call me a gentlemen.
• Seeing someone being a good dad, seeing kids feeling safe and happy; in that vane, seeing my niece laugh and screaaam my name over facetime.
• An ‘I love you’ text from my brother in another state.
• The changing of the seasons! (I am from an eternal summer state and recently moved to a state with microclimates)
• Finding deer poo and sleeping beds (tall grasses pushed down) on my land, imagining the great big family travelling through and finding safety there.
• Incredible art/nature/photography I happen upon scrolling lemmy.
• An electric blanket and a hot coffee when it’s cold and raining out.

I could go on and on and on and on - I’ve told many friends, both online and off, the key to happiness in the world as it is today is to think small. Think of your community, think of your friends, think of the people immediately around you - work to make that better and notice the small things.

Playing retro video games

My dog and my cat helps me at most, however do to the fact I’m in Amerikkka and disabled. It’s impossible for me with my circumstances I have to be happy.

However my animals keep me just above borderline unaliving my self.

My animals do make me smile every day. Especially my service dog and how quirky and weird she is and does the most stupidest funniest stuff sometimes that I always get a kick out of.

My cat is the man of the house, constantly yelling, complaining and think he owns the damn place. He doesn’t give a shit about me but absolutely loves my dog, he’s very much a stereotypical man. Which is to me fucking funny because he’s a small ass cat so I can just scoop him up whenever and cuddle with him.

Overall it’s borderline but I’m still here … At least for now.

Meetings getting cancelled

I dont know about you guys but I’m a big people watcher. I still give people their privacy but I keep tabs on those who are in my space, and notice when their not there. Over time I’ve noticed this is something that entertains me and leaves a smile on my face. I dont know many of these peoples names, and I probably never will. However I notice when they start wearing clothes that are bolder than they usually do, If their on time or they are late. One man always orders a BLTA no tomato add turkey at my work, another girl always has some type of quirky and niche outfit on that remind you of summer, even when its pouring down rain. On my typical bus route theres this kid who chats to the driver the entire way home, I never know what their saying, just that you’d never expect these two people to strike up a conversation. Through these small psycho-social interactions I form relationships to some degree with the people around me, it tethers me to where I am at and helps me feel like I am in a recognizable community. It is small, but it is the art of noticing and remembering, you should try it. There are hidden beauties.

A strong, satisfying bowel movement.

A refreshing sneeze.

Taking out a giant snot wad and having my breathing improve by at least fifty percent.

My baby daughter’s smile when she sees me come home from work.

Shitposting and other people riffing on your shitpost because they get it.

We got snow last week and it was glorious to go out and just sit on the steps on my porch and listen to the snow falling.

I’m super happy seeing the ultra-blue skies contrasted with the brilliant white of the ground. It’s crystalline and always makes me happy.

Dunno… to the core of my being I am a winter person and when there is snow and it is snowing, all is right with the world at that moment in time.

Kid at the after school program I work at recently switched schools and hes loving it and told me excitedly about his science project on the bus.

The previous charter school kicked him out because of behavior issues, so he had to start at a public school. The charter school in question is more like a prison than a school and doesn’t actually seem to teach anything. The little dude on the bus literally said “They’re teaching me science!!!” and I was both like happy for him and a little heart broken at the same time, like… did they not teach you science at the charter school?

Regardless, that he was happy about science and his new school kind of made me smile.

Things that also make me smile that are uh… less wholesome:

-Playing violent video games

-Fuckin’

-Outsmarting people

I love playing with my cats. It’s about the only thing that makes me smile still.

When things just go right for a change, personally.

My kids.

I’ve been hanging out on Threads lately (I know) and… y’know, it’s actually a whole lot less toxic place than a lot of other social media. Makes me happy to see a bunch of folks lifting each other up.

Until October it was riding around the Bay on my Jetski…

Unfortunately the skis are stored for the winter.