I’ve been in a stable relationship for a while now so naturally the idea of being married to that person comes up. But I just can’t think of any argument in favour of it.

  1. The government is discussing equalising tax groups, so unmarried individuals are no longer disadvantaged compared to married couples.

  2. I engage in a contract with high risk. If I don’t get my legalese right, I risk forfeiting a sizeable portion of my belongings when the contract comes to an end. High risk should entail high reward but in fact I don’t see any reward.

  3. Getting married changes nothing about the relationship. Until recently, the government didn’t even recognise same sex marriages. So if a straight couple gets married, should that make their relationship more valid because the government decides to put a stamp of approval on theirs and not on a gay couple? I hope not.

I’ve tried putting myself in other roles to imagine why I would want to get married. This is what I came up with:

  1. I like labelling things and I like the sound of the label “married”
  2. I want a big party called “marriage ceremony” that other people also understand as “marriage ceremony” (as opposed to just any party)
  3. I like the way married couples are portrayed in films and books (Ignoring the fact that in real life, a lot of marriages are unhappy, dysfunctional and draining until they end up in divorce).
  • Libb@piefed.socialEnglish
    21·
    17 hours ago

    We’ve been together for 25+ years and counting. The only reason we ‘legalized’ our union is out of legal worries. What if one of us get so sick that they aren’t able to decide of anything? We certainly don’t want anyone else but ourselves to be allowed to decide for the other, whatever needs to be decided. We also want to make sure the other will have no issue after the other has passed away… and don’t have to pay taxes… we already pay way too much of those.

    • ClownStatue@piefed.socialEnglish
      3·
      10 hours ago

      This is a great perspective. In a way, the civil part of a marriage is a kind of business of two people. It often comes with legal protections, tax advantages, and some other perks (when I rent a car, my wife is assumed to be a driver at no extra charge!). In many areas, a married arrangement is preferable for adoption purposes. There are a bunch of side benefits to “making it official.”

      All of that said, I think countries should do away with marriage. Return it to the churches, and offer a personal business license that gives all the same legal protections and tax options. Any two consenting adults can start a business. When it’s called “marriage” people get their panties in a bunch!

      • Libb@piefed.socialEnglish
        1·
        6 hours ago

        All of that said, I think countries should do away with marriage. Return it to the churches, and offer a personal business license that gives all the same legal protections and tax options.

        In France we have the ‘PACS’ (Pacte Civil de Solidarité, Civil Solidarity Pact) which gives many of the same rights as a civil wedding but not all of them, alas. It’s really just a contract, than is easy to break if/when needed. For example, in a married coupled, the survivor is expected to receive half of the pension the other one was expected to receive after their retirement. Not so much with the pacs. But even incomplete I consider it a step in the right direction: creating a contract-like way to officialese a union between two people.

    • Drusas@fedia.io
      2·
      9 hours ago

      All this is why we did it. But it was need for health insurance which led us to pull the trigger.

    • alyth@lemmy.worldOP
      5·
      16 hours ago

      Thanks for your perspective! I hadn’t thought at all of those aspects, the stability after death and the right to decide in an emergency… Very happy for you that your marriage has been going strong for so long.